When People in Your Life are Stopping You From Writing

When I hear people complain about other people in their lives, I almost always think that the problem is with the person complaining. Not that I think that misbehavior of an abuser is the victim’s fault. But continuing to accept misbehavior is partly the victim’s fault (and partly the society that teaches the victim to accept misbehavior). One of the most important steps for an abuse victim is the realization that this misbehavior should not be tolerated. And to get help. Which means that when you are abused, you leave the situation.

If you as a writer find that the people around you aren’t accepting that you have set aside time to write, this is often your fault. Because you are not setting up firm enough boundaries about your writing time. You let yourself be talked out of writing to go do something more fun and easier. And then the next time, the person who tries to talk you out of writing is already set up to expect that all he has to do is convince you that the non-writing event is going to be really fun.

The more that you let yourself be talked out of doing something that isn’t your writing, the more the people around you are going to keep doing this. In fact, I suspect that they would be very confused to realize that you are resentful. They feel like they are doing you a favor, giving you an excuse to do something fun instead of the dreadful chore of writing. They think writing must be a dreadful chore because it would be to them. And also, when you talk about writing, you complain about it a lot. As if you hate doing it. So why are you surprised when the people around you don’t want you to do it, either?