What If There Was Perfume for Cats?

Nobody has to tell me that the human sense of smell is embarrassingly weak compared to us cats. All I have to do is take a whiff of the stuff my human likes to spray on herself — scents that she thinks make her smell good!

Stinky flowery smells, spices that make my nose hurt and worst of all, those stinging, icky citrus smells! It’s positively disgusting. If it were up to me, the world of perfume would be very different than the way it is now. I would create aromatic awesomeness that a kitty could fully appreciate. In fact, I came up with some prototype perfumes that I think blow doors on anything human created. For your whiffing pleasure, here are some feline friendly fragrances:

Tuna al Fresco

Imagine a wharf in the morning’s early hours with the fishermen unloading their daily catch. The bracing sea breeze ruffles your fur as you take in the fresh tang of the highest quality Bluefin tuna. Grassy undertones finish off this subtly salty blend that will make even the most landlocked cat dream of sandy beaches that echo the wild call of crashing surf.

Sweet Crème Delight

Rich. Bold. Indulgent. This inviting scent is for the kitty who wants the best life has to offer. Full-bodied but not too heavy, the creamy notes carry just a touch of sweetness with hints of honeysuckle and silver vine to entice only the most discerning tomcats.

A Little Bit O’ Nip

This fun fragrance is sure to make you stand out in the clowder! It’s a blend of outdoorsy flavors — freshly mown lawn, peat moss and loam, but infused with that intoxicating catnip aroma. Playful and flirty, like new nip leaves in spring, this scent will rev up the purrs and cause heads to turn.

Fleur de Poulet

You will be positively delicious when you wear this warm, mouthwatering fragrance. It covers the full range of free-range chicken — the light and lively breast meat and sumptuous, succulent dark meat, with surprising, spicy undertones of turkey giblets to keep your admirers guessing. Where’s the fleur, you ask? It’s in the notes of catnip blooms that give this perfume a complexity most poultry scents lack.

Hello, Kitties

Only for cats who crave the spotlight! Fully loaded with feline pheromones, this sultry scent makes you a kitty magnet. The powerful attractants are enhanced with notes of valerian to make you so completely irresistible that you may need to hire a bodyguard. Racy and daring, this fragrance is for cats who aren’t afraid to walk on the feral side.
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