A new year's greeting, and my resolutions

Apologies to people who've already seen these on my social media sites, but I thought I should record them on my blog, too.

A greeting:

Happy New Years! Also, if you're having a birthday next year, Happy Birthday! And that cool thing involving you? Congratulations!

And my resolutions:

Given my usual success with New Year's resolutions, I vow to:

1. Destroy the earth.
2. Slack off more.
3. Eat a lot of crap.

Not in that order, of course.