How to Live Happier in 2014

I learned a lot in 2013. Had a lot of fun and plenty of moments I don’t want to repeat. Challenge. Discomfort. Stress. It was there. So was the Joy. Passion. Wonder. Awe. Gratitude.

Life is all of it – often within the same moment. When we are in the thick of the struggle we often wish it away. Yet those are the moments that also allow us to see the light. To experience the joy. To love more deeply. It’s the contrast that makes a difference.

My friend, a former monk, once told me that challenges are just those things we are less skilled in dealing with. The things we haven’t encountered before so we don’t know how to handle them. That causes us to feel uncomfortable. We aren’t sure of ourselves, don’t know what to do. But we muddle through and learn and get better at it. In the working through of these things we become stronger, more experienced, better and that makes it easier the next time we face a setback.

I hung on to that thought this year when I felt afraid or uncertainty snuck in.

I also went looking for the goodnesses, as my daughter calls them. The joy, love and appreciation that showed itself daily.

You have to do that. To live your best life you have to be willing to engage, to live with whatever shows up, to find gratitude in every moment. I was reminded again and again of the power of those practices this year. I’ve made a habit of them.

Three Things that will help You Feel Better in 2014

I’ve been asked many times, this year, what we can do to feel more connected, less stressed, happier in our lives. I’ve been asked what we can do to make a positive difference. There are a lot of things. Gratitude is certainly one of them.

Here are three other difference-makers.

1. Live with compassion for yourself and others. This is not conditional. Nobody has to earn it. You are simply connecting with another through empathy and understanding. You don’t have to judge or criticize, nor is compassion an endorsement or support of another’s behavior. It is simply letting the moment be filled with kindness for another. The great thing about compassion is the one offering it feels just as good as the one receiving it. Want to be happier? Live with compassion for self and others.

2. Allow the moment to be as it is. This is a tricky thing. I like to manage, predict, plan. Manage some more. But, my practice is now accepting what is and letting go. I’m learning to allow and let the moment be. Instead of worrying about getting it all done, I’m focused on what it is I am doing. This keeps me from getting wrapped in what-ifs and wishful thinking. It also takes the drama out. And surprisingly, I’m more productive. Because, I’m more focused on what I’m doing, rather than multi-tasking, I’m also making fewer mistakes.  When you are living with what is happening there is no time or need to worry about what might happen. The present is all we have and by allowing and letting it be, you get to live with it fully.

3. Look for the meaning. Every opportunity allows us a shot at growth and gratitude. There is something to learn from every experience. When I’m rocking through a difficult time, I go looking for the meaning in the moment. I trust that there is one. And this process alone, takes my attention from what isn’t working, to what is. It reminds me that we hold a higher purpose here.

Nothing is wasted. Even our greatest struggles our deepest pain can serve us and help us to live our potential. I don’t always know what the meaning is in the moment. Sometimes it takes awhile to see, but I always know there is one. This doesn’t mean I feel happier or more sane when facing adversity. Plenty of times I’m freaked out and scared. But, I’ll tell you what, understanding that there is a deeper purpose to my experience helps me trust that I will learn what I need to know to transcend the trouble. I like that.

 

Image from Free Digital Photos