Resolution 2014

I will be what I am, not what you want to see. (So oval shape will be in instead of 2 parallel lines.)
I will do what my heart likes, not what the society demands. (Yes, I will eat, sleep, fart and snore and not grind my bones to dust, being a slave.)
I will eat more of home grown foods and fruits and not get swayed by ‘California apple’ and ‘Chinese bell pepper.’ (No wonder, my eat, sleep, fart syndrome will only support the tag of local fruits and veggies.)
I will workout as an animal and eat like one too.(For sure, I will do atleast one part of this. And I am sure you know which one.)
Won’t criticize Sonia, Manmohan or even Arvind for that matter.(This year, I wll be spewing venom against global celebs. Yeah, Amrica, here I come.)
I will try getting over my fetish for war movies and watch comedies and romance movies. (My aging heart can't stand all the boom-boom, bang-bang and need gentle lullabies.)
I will express more freely. (Will ask for money, booze, food, a favor, a smoke, a lift sans any guilt.)
I will meet more people, travel more. (Yeah, I will be a part of more mindless parties and get together, and kill more time gossiping.)
I won’t start consuming alcohol. (Even fish doesn’t consume any water. And please, I’m bored of ‘Absolut or scotch  on the rocks’ route. Please suggest something new.)
Will buy a Thar and do it up tastefully.(At least a dozen searchlights, swords, hammer, tongs, spears, jerry cans, winch, and will add every single thing that I may find.)
Will do at least 3 road trips. (Driving to pubs are also road trips. Arent they?)
Will not be a part of any mediocre work, thought or people. (That is why I will stay away from my boss, in-laws, friends, neighbors. Too bad there aren’t many like me.)
Will hate and love both, with all honesty and conviction. (Boss, I hate you, landlord I hate you, government I hate you. Katrina I love you, Sonam I love you so much, Sunny (Leonne not Deol) I cant live with out you.)
Will read more and write more. (Reading posts of colleagues, ex, celbes and posting LOLs would be counted as reading and writing.)
Will complete my fourth title before April. (This time I will it more sleazy-weezie. Maybe it wil sell more.)
Will change my phone number again and drop all ‘useless’ mindless’ and worthless’ morons. (So if you don’t find my phone ringing, you know what you are.)
Will not judge people basis their family, school, college, watch, accent or even the pedigree of their dogs. (Only the color of money will be used as a parameter)
Will add 100 new words to my vocabulary.(ROFL, BTW and 98 more)
Will learn a new language. (And yes, learning Punjabi would be counted as one.)
Will have more time for friends. (Yes, invite me over for dinner, daroo, brunches at the best of the restaurants and see how I have time for you.)