A Sound of Music Redux
Apparently, anyone is allowed to remake the Sound of Music. Based on that, I’ve decided to have my own go at the film. I’ve decided my version will star Lady Gaga in the lead, and Flavor Flav as the head of the Von Trapp family.
I have also rewritten the beloved song “My Favorite Things’ to go with the more urban theme I’m shooting for.
Getting real shitfaced while watching ‘Once Bitten”
The rush that you get doing something forbidden
Brown paper packages, filled up with weed
These are a few of the things that I need
A classy new vaporizer filled with hash oil
Falling down drunk in a soft pile of soil
A surgeon generals warning I can actually heed
These are a few of the things that I need
People who get it when I quote 80s sitcoms
A lower exchange rate when I’m buying my bitcoins
An already germinated opium seed
These are a few of the things that I need
When my car breaks
When my head aches
When I’m feeling mad
I simply remember the things that I need
And then I get even…more mad
Dear Hollywood, I swear to god, I will go through with this if you keep murdering my childhood favorites. Please stop remaking things. You’re only fucking them up. What’s next? Gone With the Wind?
Jesus, I probably shouldn’t have said that. Now they’ll do it and they’ll put Snooki in the fucking lead.
