Human exhaust-pipe found-object registry (2013, in one country)

Thank you to the disturbingly many people who alerted us to this article in Deadspin:

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?

As in past years, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity.…

BONUS: The 1995 Ig Nobel Prize in literature was awarded to David B. Busch and James R. Starling, of Madison Wisconsin, for their deeply penetrating research report, “Rectal foreign bodies: Case Reports and a Comprehensive Review of the World’s Literature” [published in the journal Surgery, September 1986, pp. 512-519]. The citations include reports of, among other items: seven light bulbs; a knife sharpener; two flashlights; a wire spring; a snuff box; an oil can with potato stopper; eleven different forms of fruits, vegetables and other foodstuffs; a jeweler’s saw; a frozen pig’s tail; a tin cup; a beer glass; and one patient’s remarkable ensemble collection consisting of spectacles, a suitcase key, a tobacco pouch and a magazine. Here is a portion of one chart from  Busch and Starling’s prize-winning study: