The Christmas Report, and a Little Boxing

It's not often I get to have presents all to myself!


Amazingly, here I am with all the presents — alone! This is what I call a Christmas miracle!


They can hear the rattle of wrapping paper from the other end of the house!


Well, that miracle lasted about a minute… just until the first present started to get unwrapped. They got excited because there was a bird on the box.


Dumbest.Gift.Ever


Sadly, it was not a real bird. It was “Perfect Polly,” a motion-activated, plastic parakeet. “Life Size and Very Realistic,” the box said. Whoever wrote that copy is not a cat. This thing is so fake that it makes Hollywood starlets look silicone and botox-free.


If it is not edible, she is not interested


Boodie was not impressed either. The worst part is that it has been chirping all day. Somebody (i.e., my human) needs to shut this thing up.


A defective gift? Seriously?


My human must have been on some warped bird trip because the next gift was also a fake bird. This parrot was supposed to make noise too… and it was supposed to go to my Secret Paws partner. Except when my human brought it home, she discovered it was defective. So did she return it to the store? No, she wrapped it up as a gift for us! That is embarrassingly lame, and I am glad you are all a witness to it. Somekitty needs to create a Tumblr for Human Shaming.


She is usually smarter than this


Binga did not get the memo about human shaming. Apparently she likes this thing.


No need to cuddle up to a floor heater or a fidgety human!


Finally, I can put my paw of approval on something — this microwaveable Kitty Cuddle Pal will be nice to curl up with on cold winter mornings!


I am not impressed by her left hook


Since this is being posted on Boxing Day, I thought I should include a little boxing before getting to the final gift.


It was fun, at least for a little while


It’s a FroliCat Pounce Rotating Cat Teaser, featuring Marshal Maus, who moves around in weird unpredictable patterns. Marshal Maus was actually kind of cool!


Not only does she agree, she is a toy hog


Binga agrees. In fact, I have been waiting my turn to play with it for a ridiculously long time.


No batteries necessary!


But Binga didn’t get the best toys of the day — the box that the FroliCat came in, and the pipe cleaner my human had off camera to help me pose!


Disclaimer: The links to the Kitty Cuddle Pal and FroliCat are affiliate links, which means if you click through to the PetCo website and buy them, I will get a commission. I only included the links because I liked them and thought you might too.
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Having problems with your human or the other cats in your house? As the internet’s “Dear Abby With Claws,” I have answers to many annoying problems in my two award-winning books! Visit my author’s page on Amazon to buy one or both of my awesome Dear Sparkle books!


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Published on December 26, 2013 00:38
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