"Whenever I try to write about you,everything that I try to explaincomes out sounding likea..."

“

Whenever I try to write about you,

everything that I try to explain

comes out sounding like

a cliché. I start with your skin,

and I try not to compare

how you feel to a texture;

because not everyone

has felt something as electrifying

as the outside of your body feels.

I usually end with a line

about how much I miss you,

and how you should reconsider

your decision on keeping

our relationship in a folder

that you shoved in a drawer

that is full of dust and colored pencils;

you never cared about

how messy we might be.

All you wanted to do

was prove to yourself

that you can love without

growing attached.

But I am not a consolation prize,

and my affections were not

something that you could just

show off; keeping my feelings

on the top shelf in your room.

My love was so much more

than just a story that ended

on a bad note, and it was

so much more than just

a chapter that you always

skipped to get to the good parts;

the silent sex in the daylight

with our bodies crashing

into one another

like a wooden plank

caught in tidal wives.

You don’t need to worry

about me tainting your name,

because I still love you

too much to have others

feel the way that I do about now.

I wouldn’t want anyone else

to feel this kind of resentment.

I wouldn’t want anyone else

to feel the kind of heartache

that I did when you looked me

in the eyes and told me

that your love for me

was never as ripe as mine for you.

And since all this time has passed

with you being gone, I’ve realized

a lot of things, and most

of those things end up

with you looking like the bad guy.

So I will keep your true colors

under-wraps, and I won’t reveal

to others about how you

considered mistreatment

to be a form of desire.

”

- "This is why I try not to write about you," - Colleen Brown