Mixed Messages at Christmas

Christmas is a mixed message time of year for me.

My mother’s death at Christmas punched most of the cheerful emotion out of the holiday for many years, and probably always will linger

Being the mother also can strip away the excitement as I work in the background to provide the “magic”–almost like a performer.

But it hasn’t always been so. Every year, I reach back into my memory pocket, remembering the fledgling Christmas I first understood the significance of Jesus’ birth.

Maybe it’s the (relatively) frosty night from that long ago Southern California Christmas, when a touch of mist in the air mingled with Christmas hymns I’d never sung before, that’s needed to conjure up the wonder.

The dark sky sparkled with shiny stars that night and I could imagine shepherds startled out of sheep-watching by a glorious choir of angels announcing astonishing news.

Astonishing news, I, too, had only begun to grasp.

I’d grown up in a mostly secular household. Christmas was stockings and snow scenes on the mantle, gaily wrapped gifts and a trip to our grandparent’s house. The Italian side of the family ate towering bowls of pasta and ate chocolate pie. We played a gift swapping game and admired my cousins’ presents. The adults played poker after the dishes were done and we kids ran around outside. Sometimes we even ate outside if it was warm enough.

I don’t remember ever attending church on Christmas day.

But that fifteenth Christmas, I’d met a group of Christians at Trinity Lutheran Church around the corner. They introduced me to the person of Jesus Christ–not as a baby long ago born and died, but as the Savior of the world who still lived, seated on God‘s right hand.

Like many Americans, I was familiar enough with Jesus. I’d attended catechism for many years.

But, somehow, I never connected the two. I’d never heard of Jesus as the connector between me and the God who created those stars and spun the planets across the universe.

While I had tried to reach him, to understand God, Jesus never held the front of my consciousness.

It changed that Christmas.

The mixed messages of my childhood disappeared into the truth of Jesus. Tweet: The mixed messages of #childhood disappeared with #Jesus

I mirrored Mary’s wonder: who IS this?

http://ctt.ec/t4_Jm+ @michelleule #Christmas

Some of it was the music: Handel‘s Messiah, four-part harmony hymns, Oh Come, oh Come, Emmanuel,  Gloria in Excelsis Deo, the reading of Luke’s gospel.

Much of it had to do with my own reading of the Bible–the person of Jesus and his role on earth became more clear.

I didn’t remember ever hearing the story of Herod sending soldiers to kill all the babies in Bethlehem as a way of suppressing God’s plan.

Jesus looked completely different that Christmas, and something came alive in my heart and soul. Tweet: My heart and soul came alive with #Jesus http://ctt.ec/t4_Jm+ @michelleule #Christmas

I’ve always loved the ditty, “Jesus is the reason for the season.” There’s no point to all of this without him.

Yes, I’m feeling mixed messages today because of mourning my mother. But the reason for the season, Jesus, is also the comfort for that loss. His birth in that manger saved the world.

Gloria in excelsis Deo–Glory to God in the highest!

Merry Christmas

 

 

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