Year in Review
Each year I look both ways
Before I cross from one year
To the next
In years past
There was always fear involved
Looking at my bank account
Meant acknowledging my weakness
For fattening food
Fast food
And convenience
My lack of funds
And lack of prospects
Looking at my goals
And accomplishments
Meant once again
I’d failed to live up to
My potential
My expectations
My hopes
Desires
Goals
Dreams
Those things I’d hoped to be
Things I wish I’d done
Fear that I was not capable
Fear of movement
Fear of failure
Fear of success
How awful to be afraid
Of trying
Because you either
Might fail
Or worse yet, might succeed.
I became afraid of my own shadow
Everything was an insurmountable wall
And when I had wedged myself into a corner
And the only avenue out was change
I finally had no choice
Each year I took new steps
Tentative baby steps at first
So the strides I made
Were few
Each year new challenges
New fears
New accomplishments
And even as I moved forward
I would still have moments
Where I slipped back
Into old habits
Let old fears scare me again
Until somewhere along the way
I stopped being afraid
And now for the first time
I can clearly see
The fears I conquered this past year
But don’t see any up ahead
What a marvelous feeling this is!
I’m sure in the future
I will discover things
That cause me to hesitate
But I doubt I will ever react
Or overreact
To life quite the same way again
