My 3 completely biased, overly judgmental and fully valid rules of selfies

Try to avoid saying the word selfie aloud. You will always sound at least a little dumb when doing so. Even writing the word makes you sound a little stupid.
Any attempt to look sexy or alluring in a selfie is only going to make you look a little desperate. This includes pursed lips, well framed cleavage and obvious attempts to conceal large noses, receding hairlines or oblong chins through awkward and strained poses. Spontaneity, a disregard for photogenic conventions and  an authentic smile will make a selfie almost acceptable.
A selfie is only immune to ridicule and assumed narcissism under the following circumstances:


You are taking a selfie with another person in the photograph as well (which, by definition, no longer qualifies as a selfie).
You are taking a selfie in order to show someone a new haircut, a new item of clothing or a similar change of appearance.
You are taking a selfie with the express purpose of demonstrating the uniqueness of your locale as it appears the background (Grand Canyon, Brooklyn Bridge, football stadium, North Pole)
You are taking a selfie in order to update your image on a social media or similar online profile, and you have not updated the image in this profile in at least three months.

Below is a not-so-good selfie that I took of myself and my daughter this weekend as we rode the historic carousel in downtown Hartford together, thus qualifying it as acceptable in two of the above categories.