I once had a cat like Ronnie Biggs…
I had a mental cat once. Pissed over the bed and forced me to clean up after it. Threw up in my fridge for a laugh. Attacked children. Ate the heads off all of my Barbie dolls. Drank heavily and knocked me about when it felt lonely or like I was going to leave. Got a tattoo with the words “HATE LOVE’ spiked into its forehead when travelling through Asia on the back of a car it built by sticking together the bodies of forty dead mice.
I was going to call my cat Bastard. Instead, I called it Legend. I called it Legend sarcastically.
Ronnie Biggs spent 30 years skint wandering around Brazil begging for alcohol; like a massively shit George Best.
But he was mostly like my mental cat, was Ronnie.
They were both far greater bastards than they will ever be true legends.
So, what do you think?
Was Ronnie Biggs a legend, or a bell-end?
