Goals For 2014: Stretch the Mind Not the Ego

Given that 2013 is ending, I’ve been feeling like I should write a 2013 round up—go over all the things I’m thankful for in this past year.

A lot of great things happened for me in 2013. I contracted my first book to Samhain, then went on the contract three more. My first Samhain release, From the Ashes, hit as high as #2 on the Gay Romance bestseller list on Amazon—which was a really big deal for me.

I also learned that being forty means that if I don’t work out I feel like crap, but if I exercise harder, I still feel like I’m thirty. 2013 was a good year—but what about the future?

Up until yesterday, I’d been thinking of 2014 in terms of what I’d accomplish—how many books I could write, whether I could garner more recognition and how I could battle with the inevitable process of aging. But then something happened that changed my perspective.

I was in barre class getting my ass worked by a Russian instructor and when it came time to grab our ankles and stretch our hamstrings, she barked, “Stretch your legs not your ego!”

Boom. Epiphany.

The instructor went on to say, “It’s 2014. Time to try something new. Maybe time to get a new perspective.” But she didn’t need to add that on, because I knew already what she meant. Every goal I’d thought I’d had was about feeding my ego—making myself feel good enough about myself and NOT about making me a better writer.

Of course, this is a business, so sales matter. But sales are a natural consequence of writing good stories with a good publisher using tropes people like to read. Words-per-day? Popularity? Recognition? All that is ego, and not worth aiming for. The only goals I’ve ever found that helped my career were these:

Stretch your confidence

Stretch your understanding

Build your skills

Work out your writing muscles

The rest of it is just noise, and the more I worry about my ego, the more soothing it seems to need.

I’ve been really lucky in 2013 in that I’ve made and kept some good pals in this business. It’s great to have friends dear enough that I can share with them my momentary lacks of confidence. But I’ve seen that it’s super easy to sink into the sand trap of ego-stroking pity parties. I’m forever grateful that my friends care about me enough to tell me when to get over myself.

So, basically, that’s my goal for 2014—to get over myself. I’ll write 4 or 5 books, probably. Hopefully, one or all of them will knock your socks off. Whats more, I’ll work on stretching my imagination, my knowledge base, my understanding of myself and my craft. I’ll stretch how well I understand readers and trends, and then I’ll power through that knowledge to write things that resonate to me. I’ll stretch my mind, not my my ego.

I bet my brain thanks me for it later.

(BTW) My 2014 Release Schedule:

Feb 11 – After the Rain (Logan and Henri’s story)

June 10 – Nothing But Smoke (Michael and Nicky’s story)

Sept – November Rain (Joe and Elias’ story ((no, you don’t know them yet:))

November (hopefully) – David’s Selfie (a Christmas story!)

 

 

 

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