Embarrass yourself for the entertainment of others! And maybe a prize.

In a recent interview with the lovely Dahlia Adler, she asked which passage from Unteachable I’d read aloud at a signing. The truth is, I don’t think I could. My blood alcohol level would have to be near-lethal to get me to do it.

But you guys aren’t as repressed as I am, right? Of course not, you filthy monkeys. That’s why you’re going to enter this for-fun (and maybe for-a-prize) competition to read a passage aloud from UT.

Here’s the deal: you can pick any scene from Unteachable, or you can read from the excerpt below. It’s up to you. Try to keep it under 5 minutes. Send me an audio or video file, or link me to where you’ve uploaded it. I will post all of the entries after the deadline and a Special Mystery Judge (read: Dahlia) will help me choose the winner.

Oh yeah, and I’ll be doing a reading too, just for fun. So feel free to send me booze.

DEADLINE: January 1, 2014
REQUIREMENTS: Audio or video of you reading a passage from Unteachable.
PRIZE: TBD, but probably a swanky Amazon gift card.

If you want to remain anonymous, that’s fine. Just make sure I can contact you in some way for the prize.

Here’s the default excerpt from UT (you don’t have to use this one).

Aaaaaaaand…go.