Why Don't You Smile More?

One of the many oddities of minor celebrity is that people are inclined to give you advice, they’d probably never offer members of their own family, colleagues or friends (unless they like hospital food, that is).

 

I am quite frequently instructed that I should smile more. There’s been an outbreak of this on Twitter recently, along with various snippets of analysis of my character, suggesting that I am sunk in permanent bitter, hateful  gloom. This is an offshoot of the pronouncement that ‘You Have No Sense of Humour’ to which there is no real reply, and which helps to train me in the self-restraint which I urge on others.

 

While there is no real reply to it, the ‘Sense of Humour’  can actually be rebutted technically. But this is no use at all, as we shall see.  My archive department tells me that I have, on various radio and TV appearances, intentionally caused members of live audiences to laugh on several separate occasions. I have even laughed myself. I know this to be true. I believe that recordings of some of these events can be found on YouTube. But I also know that most people who have watched or listened to these programmes will not recall the laughter, and will still maintain that I have no sense of humour, never smile, etc. The claim actually has nothing to do with my sense of humour. It has to do with the fact that image is more powerful than reality.

 

The same goes for the claim that I never smile. I have to say that my smile is a pretty terrible thing, and people who have witnessed it at close quarters have often begged me not to do it again. But even so, I occasionally risk it, even in public places, and have been caught on camera doing so. I find, when I view these recordings, that I agree with the people who have begged me not to do it again, and so quite often I sit, inwardly smiling, but outwardly thinking of others and keeping a straight face. Occasionally my self-control gives way. But that does no good either.

 

The thing is, my critics ( and indeed some of my supposed supporters) don’t expect me to smile. If I make a joke, they either forget about it instantly or assume it was an accident.

 

Perhaps this is just because they think this anyway, and (as in so many of my conflicts with the majority) they see and hear what they want to see and hear, and don’t see or hear what they don’t wish to see or hear.

 

Or perhaps (and I am being charitable here because it is the Advent season)  this is because of my inner gloom. Those who like to divide the population between introverts and extroverts would certainly place me among the introverts, a significant minority who dislike noise, compulsory jollity, self-abandonment, extravagant displays of affection, paper hats, etc ( An interesting book  recently published, ‘Quiet’,  by Susan Cain, explores this subject).

 

This doesn’t mean we don’t go out, or even that we fear crowds. Introverts can often deal with crowds better than they can deal with individuals. It just means that we don’t necessarily share the pleasures of the majority (apparently the introverts are about a third of the population) . But we are still enjoying ourselves.

 

The fact that I like dark afternoons, melancholy ruins, plainchant, winter picnics, walking in the rain, solitude, swimming in cold seas,  long train journeys, cathedral cities,  second-hand bookshops, ghost stories, museums, wild moorland, mountain rambles, decayed old towns in obscure corners of Europe, sad ceremonies, ruins and so forth (which I do) may be and is baffling to those who like hot beaches, nightclubs, rock concerts and the Glastonbury Festival (which I don’t) . I doubt if I could be found smiling while I enjoyed my pleasures. But that’s too bad.  I do not order or urge other, noisier people to stop smiling, or tell them to appreciate my quieter pleasures instead of their preferred ones. I have never asked anyone to take off a paper hat at Christmas time. So why should they tell me to put one on, or otherwise conscript me into their jollities?  I’ll smile when I want to, not when I’m told, and I might add, hasn’t there been quite a bit of smile inflation since fast food joints compelled their poor staff to grin all the time?