My Poor, Pork Pitiful Husband

Today, Frank is crock potting Great Northern White beans. As usual, he is disappointed because I did not purchase enough pork. 

Frank: Is this all of country ham you bought?
Me: You told me to buy a package of country ham pieces. That is one package.
Frank: Didn’t they have a bigger one? The ham is what gives them the flavor.
Me: I know. Heaven forbid your beans taste like…beans.
Frank: Beans aren’t very good. 
Me: So, you’re basically just using them as little fibrous pellets to soak up the tasty ham grease.
Frank: Yeah, basically.