Bukowski’s puke dive

"Please don't make a dumb-ass theme joint based on me?"
A bar opened this month that celebrates the life of Charles Bukowski. It's called “Barkowski.” They, the owners of the place, claim the 60’s-style “dive bar” will cater to the crazy man’s literary fans. Beer will be seven bucks a can and microwaved White Castle burgers will be five bucks each. A dive by the sounds of it, but not a cheap one, and pretentious too. Nothing like making a buck for nasty food and beer on the back of a man who would probably hate the whole idea of being “themed” in such a way. The so-called dive opened in Santa Monica, Calif., this month.Like others have cried on their respective websites, Buk would never hang there. But it’s not about him. It’s about the people who love him – and all traces of literary coolness. It’s about the experience, such as it will be.The idea of the Santa Monica joint might attract a crapton of hipsters ­– those who’ve read his “Post Office” over and over again, much like they do with Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, J.D. Salinger’s every breath and Hunter S. Thompson’s every noun. While Thompson loved the attention, and sought it for himself whenever and wherever he could, Salinger shunned public interaction to the point it made him even more famous. So what would these authors think of the batshit-crazy crap we-who-are-still-alive do to honor them? My gut tells me they’d flop like goldfish in their graves. Being that it’s Christmas-time, would Dickens (who championed the poor just as Steinbeck and others did) really think himself lucky to be adored by the educated elite of England in today’s world? Would he implore them to learn from his words and act on them? Or would he shrug and start composing a Tweet? The mural found outside the Steinbeck Center in Salinas,
celebrating immigrants and the poor as
depicted in the novels of John Steinbeck.
The center charges admission to enter.Would Steinbeck delight in the Steinbeck Center in Salinas? Would he be proud of his legacy the way his fans are? Perhaps he would, but perhaps not. Perhaps he might hope things would have changed for immigrants by this time, or that understanding for the plight of the destitute and lonely would be greater than it is. After all, nothing but social media is any different. Or, like Dickens, would Steinbeck throw up his arms in defeat and sign a contract with Amazon?Would Salinger be thrilled about the upcoming biopic movie and the online leak of his short precursor story to Catcher in the Rye online from the Manuscripts Division of Firestone Library’s Rare Books and Special Collections Department at Princeton? He’d likely file a lawsuit and continue to pray his readers would simply shut the hell up.Would Norman Mailer appreciate the writer’s colony and all the money being made off his name? Is it sweet to do or simply a moneymaker that benefits the board of directors and their interests and fans of his writing only a little? Who’s to know, but Mailer?And why in the hell make a bar for Bukowski’s fans? They claim it will have all the qualities Buk would love in a shithole, save for the filth of a real dive bar. I think most folks realize, however, that Bukowski would laugh at the whole idea.But it may be just the place for those wacky kids waiting in line for their MFA in creative writing.