An imaginary letter (actually, it's a rant)

Dear X,

I have to tell you about my new man. He's older than me. Much older. Perhaps that's why he's a bit condescending – he often calls me absurd and thinks he knows better than me about stuff like whether I want to go to the prom or go to University. And he hates my friends. Calls them shallow, so I don't see them any more.

I admit our relationship isn't perfect. There was this one time he broke up with me, then threatened to kill himself. Oh, and he got his sister to kidnap me, and slashed ...