I WOULD LIKE TO REPORT A MURDER!!!

Yes, folks, this weekend I was on the scene of the most heinous crime!!! Not something that happens a lot, thank goodness, but I have a horrid feeling the frequency is increasing and this scares the willies out of me.

It occurred at somewhere around 14:30pm, Saturday afternoon. I was in our nearby hardware mega store (which shall remain nameless but for the purposes of this report will be