Australiababble Week Twenty-Nine

So, this time last week I’m standing in the lounge in my pyjamas with the ironing board and a mountain of clean but crumpled laundry filling the room. The kids were on the computer thingy, demanding bacon and the major was ankle deep in paperwork, just a normal Sunday really, only it wasn’t. For we were off to AUSTRALIA!!!

Beyond excited and more than a little apprehensive. All those hours on a plane? Really? I planned a strategy that involved movie watching and lots of wine.

I am ashamed to admit to an appalling level of ignorance when it comes to Oz. Every image I had in my head was conjured from the stereotypical and clichéd. Barbeques – Beaches – Dame Edna (who I think would make a superb monarch when the queen abdicates) – Cricket (not that we will be mentioning THAT!) – Rugby (or THAT either!) – Koalas – Shane Warne’s forehead – Ayers Rock and of course the pocket sized beauty that is Kylie.

Don’t judge me. I grew up in inner city London in a large, chaotic family and our idea of a holiday was a sticky fingered fish and chip suppers in our coats and scarves while sitting on the wall at Southend-On-Sea, followed by a night, still in our coats and scarves, in me nan’s dripping caravan. Yes, it’s was as glamorous as it sounds. Now since I’ve been a grown up, a fact that I don’t like to admit, I have of course done a bit, The West Indies, Europe, The US of A and of course my beloved Bermuda. But the other side of the world?? Not until now.

Geography is not my strong point; in fact other than writing books, I have very few talents of note. A friend of ours was moving to Oz, Cairns to be specific and I sent his details to an acquaintance in Sydney, suggesting it might be nice to hook up for a coffee to make him feel welcome… My friend in Sydney replied by sending me a map with two big fat red X’s on it, showing that coffee was highly unlikely as they weren’t even in the same time zone! Who knew?

I knew there was a beach in Sydney, which simultaneously filled me with dread and excitement. In most lights, I am more Rebel Wilson than Elle Macpherson.

So here we are, one week later and I’m in Sydney!!!! Wooohooo! I actually have no concept of day or time, but it doesn’t matter – I made it and after my initial few days of exploring I am love with this city! I have loved places before and undoubtedly will again, but what I wasn’t prepared for and have rarely experienced, is that Sydney loves me back!

So, what has my first whizz around the city revealed? It’s full beautiful people. Seriously where are all your uglies? Is there an exclusion zone? A curfew? Everywhere I look there are leggy, clear skinned lovelies of both sexes, flashing perfect teeth and looking at peace with the world! In the UK, if 10 is ‘stunner’ I think realistically I hover around the 3 mark – on a good day. But here in Sydney – I’m reduced to a 1-2!

I’ve worked out why everyone is so fit. The Oz coinage is big and heavy, Russell Crowe doesn’t work out, he just carries a lot of cash around, which would do it.

Highlights so far, the Botanical Gardens – stunning, manicured, but with signs inviting me to ‘smell the roses, hug the trees and picnic’ on the immaculate grass. What’s the catch? I have grown up surrounded by signs telling me the exact opposite! I must say as a bit of a rule breaker, it took some of the thrill away.

I’ve strolled along The Finger Wharf, Woolloomooloo – marveling at the shiny yachts in the harbor and watching more beautiful people dining in elegant waterside restaurants.

We lunched at The Andrew (Boy) Charlton pool café, who serve the best thyme-salted fries with aioli and have breakfasted at the Goods on Crown Street where I munched on their delicious home made granola and fresh fruit, washed down with a generous, rich black coffee.

…and then my friends I joined a delightful couple I met from Birmingham UK and a hundred camera bearing Koreans and I stood at Mrs Macquarie’s Chair and looked out. The difference was, while they oohed and aahed and snapped away – I flung my arms out cruciform stylee and shouted at the top of my voice,

‘I am in AUSTRALIA!!!!!’ They then started snapping me as I laughed, cried and jumped up and down on the spot, pointing at the bridge and opera house in the distance. Blame it on jet lag, slight hysteria and the fact that I was actually looking at the sights that I have only seen on the TV and at the movies since I was a little girl. It was beautiful.

My new favourite mode of transport? Ferrari? Harley? Nah, I shall whenever possible be travelling by open top bus! They are awesome! And what better way to see a city? We bought 24 hours tickets and went crazy – hopping on and off at will! Some of my favourite stops have been Kings Cross, which does the best day to night make over I have ever seen. If Kings Cross were a woman, she would wear demure clothing and subtle make-up by day, but as soon as the sun goes down, she puts on her red lippy, whips off her bra, dons her heels and dances on the bar! You go girl!

We were exhausted from our day of sight seeing and retired to our fab, very modern apartment in the Surry Hills district, where the boys played happily with the rubbish chute where the novelty of dropping trash that drops 12 floors into a basement shows no sign of waning (it’s the little things…) and we feasted on hot, spicy burritos from Taco Mafia – Elizabeth Street. Handmade and bulging with chargrilled veggies, fresh salsa, rich, creamy guacamole, Mexican rice and a zingy, limey snap with every bite. Delicious!

I also love Darling Harbour – SO much to see and do. We spent a jam packed day that ended at the biggest IMAX in the world… okay so I fell asleep, blame it on the Hunger Games and not the experience!

Sydney has the elegance of Cannes, the majesty of Barcelona, is the foodie heaven of New York, with the pace of Bermuda. It is a city with many faces; each one of them seems to be smiling at me.

I am working next week and am fully acclimatized – excited! My new novel A Little Love is out in ten days!!!! I think you’re going to love it.

Sending love and sunshine.

Mandy x

©Amanda Prowse – all enquiries PFD ajhughes@pfd.co.uk. +44 (0)20 7344 1084