Why I continue to write

For some time, I've tried to answer for myself why I continue to write. After all this is a pretty crowded field, and getting noticed in a crowd is damn hard. So periodically, like every other writer I suppose, I get maudlin. (I'm sure the gin has something to do with that.)

Why do I continue in this pretty grim business? Well, last night, I had an epiphany. I immediately took two aspirin, but it didn't go away. It wasn't much of an epiphany, I suppose. Pretty obvious, in fact, but it worked for me.

Sometimes, with some of my writer friends, I moan and groan about the oh-so-depressing writer's life. The writing Eeyore: that's me ('tis I).

In six months, I turn 60. That assumes I make it. I've always thought I'd die in my fifties. My dad did, and my mom wasn't much older when she passed, which is probably part of my doom-and-gloom outlook these past few years. My point is that I don't know how many years I have left. Maybe I'll live to be 100, or maybe I'll die in a year. With life being so uncertain, why spend my time on something so demanding that offers so little payback?

Well, last night, I came to a conclusion: there is one thing that will keep me writing.

It's not about money. We can all use money, but I don't really need to earn it from writing. And it's not about readers, although I'd certainly like to have more of them. It's not about a compulsion to write, because I no longer feel that in the way I did when I was younger.

No: it's about the story, or the stories. I always have stories in my head, but I've started a few that I've never finished. HELL'S SUPER began one, but it's not finished. The CIRCLES IN HELL series, of which HELL'S SUPER is the first volume, could be an ongoing series, like DISCWORLD, but Steve's story is a discrete arc. I can really finish his tale in two more books (not counting A COLD DAY IN HELL, which is book two and will come out early next year).

And I have a five volume epic fantasy series which will take me a long time to write, but it's a great story, and it would be in third person, where I write my best prose.

I like to tell stories. And that may simply be enough to keep me going. I sell books or I don't. Just telling the story may be good enough for me.

This all assumes I don't get lazy in my dotage and just stick with tuba playing! It is, after all, MUCH easier than writing. And I make more money at it too!

Seriously, I think I've finally exorcised my writer's demon. For me, I've found my writer's raison d'etre.

Mark
7th of December, 2013