Are You Looking for the Perfect Gift? Try this.
My husband gave me one of the best presents ever at Christmas three years ago.
Our daughter was four and I was burned out from cooking, and playing princess and picking up underpants and headbands and holding conversations through the bathroom door.
That Christmas, instead of getting me perfume, or fancy jewelry, or a blender (which I was told later was on his A list of possibilities. Er, he made the right call), he gave me 24-hours off and a night in a beautiful downtown hotel — alone.
He created an experience for me with a love note I found when I unpacked, and a People magazine, and a piece of good chocolate. I felt well-loved and came back relaxed and restored.
Even today, years later, I feel better just thinking about the experience of it all. Those lingering good feelings are part of the reason most people, 57 percent, according to a study in the journal of Personality and Social Psychology, say they’d rather make an “experiential purchase” rather than buy a material one.
According to two other surveys by Leaf Van Boven and Thomas Gilovich, our experiences make us happy long after the event is over because we continue to think about them, assign meaning to them and reflect and reinterpret the good feelings. As a result, the good feelings last long after the material items we buy wear out.
Are you looking to give the perfect gift this holiday season? Well, take a pass on the fruitcake and consider creating an experience for the one you love.
Choosing the Right Experience
One year my nephew got a fishing weekend with his grandfather – those two still talk about it. For another gift, I took my husband Mr. J to a comedy show of a comedian he loves, which was a blast. And, we also had some uninterrupted time together which meant a lot to both of us. Last year, my sister gave my mother, who is an artist, a class at a glass blowing studio, so she could try something new.
In every case these experiential gifts worked because they took into account the preferences and desires of the person receiving the gift.
Here are some things to consider when creating your own gift experience:
Customize the experience. Think about your loved one, what they care about, what matters to them, their schedule, their desires and create an experience that they can appreciate.
In other words, my husband knows better than to send me to a WWE event, but after he gave me that quiet evening in a hotel, he was the hero.
Get creative, and cost-effective. Make a special home-cooked meal with his favorite foods and music playing in the background. Or schedule a lunch with your mom. No kids, no husbands, just go to lunch with your mom and enjoy the time together. If your son loves astronomy, take him out to view the stars at a nearby science museum or observatory. Often there are volunteers on-site helping amateur astronomers view the cosmos.
Or, write down 20 of your daughter’s favorite things to do and throw them in a hat. Let her pick out five of those things and then spend the day together doing them. You don’t have to go big and fancy to have a great experience.
Don’t go overboard. Make sure you don’t overspend or over commit your loved one. For example setting up a weekend trip isn’t going to be great if she has to figure out the childcare and time off from work and how to afford the other details to make it happen. Don’t give plane tickets, if you can’t also pay for the hotel room.
I would freak out, for example, if my husband committed me money-wise and time-wise to a big trip that we hadn’t budgeted for. Or one where I needed to juggle work and kid schedules before I could leave. Those decisions and tasks we need to take on together. But he knows this, because he knows me.
Again, keep the interests and concerns of the person you are creating the gift for firmly in mind, if they don’t like big surprises don’t give them one. In this case, choose an event that they can schedule a time that works for them. If they love you to handle the details, then plan the event complete with childcare and activity from start to finish.
When you take time to consider the person you love and the reason they mean so much to you, you’ll know just what to do to create a special experience.
Creating a meaningful experience is about engaging in life and with each other. It is more powerful than anything you can buy and will add meaning and memory for years to come.
