A lack of physical descriptors

It recently occurred to me that my wife's lack of physical descriptors would make it hard for me to describe her in a book.

"How would you describe me?" she asked.  

"I don't know," I said.  "Dark hair.  Great figure.  Probably wearing sunglasses.  That's about all I got."

She was not amused.  "Oh Yeah.  Then how would you describe yourself?"

"I don't know," I said.  "Scars across the chin and forehead.  Missing lower front tooth.  Hairy arms and legs.  Nineteen inch neck.  Brown eyes. ...