The protagonist interviews his creator

A beatnik recites Robert Burns on the cover of Yak Yak No. 1 (aka Dell Four Color No. 1186), May 1961. Art by Jack Davis.

(Note: It was originally intended for the author to interview Ray Sirico, protagonist of his novel Fandemonium. However, Mr. Sirico consented to speak only on the condition that he ask the questions.)

Ray S.: Before we begin, let me commend you on having the perspicacity to write a book about me, however maladroitly.

Rick S.: Uh, thanks. I think.

Ray S.: What prompted you to choose me as a subject? Was it my charisma, my sex appeal, my groundbreaking work? Or some combination of the above?

Rick S.: Well, something in your story spoke to me—

Ray S.: Of course. You saw me as a role model.

Rick S.: Not exactly—

Ray S.: No need to be embarrassed. It’s entirely natural that to a second-tier talent like yours, mine would blaze like a beacon, illuminating a lofty goal at which to aim, even though it could never be achieved. No offense.

Rick S.: None taken, inasmuch I was thinking of you more as a cautionary tale.

Ray S.: You deceive yourself. I am your aspirational alter ego, your superheroic identity. Why else would we have the same initials?

Rick S.: Holy crap. I never thought of that.

Ray S.: Of the six letters in my surname, all but one appear in your own, in similar order. What do you suppose that’s about?

Rick S.: You’re suggesting that deep beneath my placid exterior, there’s a big fat drunken Italian comic book writer struggling to get out?

Ray S.: I’m already out. And finding the exit wasn’t much of a challenge. I own funny animal comics more complex than you.

Rick S.: O wad some pow’r the giftie gie us, to see ourselves as other see us.

Ray S.: That is the worst attempt at a Scottish accent it has ever been my misfortune to hear. If you’re going to quote Burns, you need to drink some Scotch first.

At this point Mr. Sirico paused to take liquid refreshment. The remainder of the interview, which resumed after a lengthy hiatus, will follow in a subsequent post.