I Drive Drivers

Book tour rocks. I'm not gonna pull the delicate-flower-author thing and bitch about what a trial it is to be flown to beautiful cities, stay in nice hotels, and tell people how terrific my books are, for free. Because if I did, I'd smack the shit out of myself.
Which brings me to the subject of drivers. My publisher arranges for a driver to pick me up and tote me around in each city of the tour. This is awesome, and awkward. (Remember: base houseing. Trailer parks. This was my...