They Will Find You

You can call them different names but they are all the same thing. You could call it Spam, Junk Mail, or Telemarketing but I have had enough of them all. Today in a simple day off here is my list of these home invaders. On email I received a message from a man claiming to be a barrister (not a lawyer but a barrister) in England wanting me to contact him about an “Urgent Matter” involving a sizable sum and a relation of mine. My last relatives in England came over on the Mayflower! I’m thinking the chances of this being legitimate are the same as me winning the lottery and being attacked by a lion on the same day. There was an email saying I had a rich relative in Africa die in a terrible accident and they need to contact me about the settlement…See the afore mentioned example for my response. It is virtually identical. Add to those the countless messages about special offers, newsletters and ads and you get an inbox with 1 (one) email worth saving. Can you imagine if they charged us to receive email? Maybe if people were charged for sending them we wouldn’t get so many? Not so fast. Then there was the mail. I thought bombarding people with junk mail was so last decade but I was, alas, mistaken. First we have the half dozen “Pre-approved” credit card offers. Then there were ads for new gutters, vinyl siding, garage door openers and repair, Christmas light rental (I couldn’t believe it either), carpet cleaning, insurance ads claiming to save me money for switching and Pizza coupons. Now those I might actually use. Other than a couple of bills it was a pointless trip to the mailbox. So that should be it, right? Just mail and email coming my way. After all, I signed up for the “Do Not Call” list on line. Well, it would seem there is a way around that because the calls kept coming. The university my wife and I attended calls every day in search of donations. They received enough money for our education at the time. They aren’t getting any more. Every day we get a call saying it is our “Last chance to take advantage of the financial stimulus package” and lower our mortgage rate. If it’s the last chance then STOP CALLING! Then you get the call about how window salesmen will be in my area next week and they only have a few appointments left so I must act quickly if I am going to get new windows on my two year old house. Add to that the numerous calls from magical places like Wilmington, DE, Portland, OR, Hartwell, GA, Marysville, WA as well as Unavailable and Out of Area. Sometimes they are just odd cell numbers. If I answer, I don’t even get to say no to a real person anymore. There is a recording of and advertising message. If it goes to the answering machine, they just hang up. So I screen. I screen so much that I miss calls from family. I see why everyone is going to strictly cell phones. Even there, however, they still track me down. I receive these stray text messages saying I have won something and I need to call this number right away. I give up. You cannot run. You cannot hide. Spammers will find you wherever you are and they won’t stop. So Dad, if you call and I don’t reach the phone in time, you’ll know why.