Where are all the book reviews?

Some of you may have noticed that very few book reviews have been posted to my blog lately. I want to tell you that I’ve been kept from my writing because of sacrifice: my volunteer work in sub-Sahara Africa with the Peace Corps or some other well-meaning international nonprofit to which I’m now devoted. That has a nice, altruistic ring to it, no? And it would be even more fishy to ascribe the silence from Virginia Beach to a schedule packed with radio and television interviews based on the three books I published this year. That sounds pretty good, too, but you smell that stinkin' fish, don’t you? So I wish I were running for office (national, preferably) so that I could use the punishing demands of a campaign as an excuse. I especially like the mental image that conjures: me, the open road, and a really, really long motorhome.

But no. None of these is the truth.

The truth, my friends, is that I have become an addict, and I’m not proud of it. There I am nightly sprawled in my sweats and fuzzy slippers on the recliner portion of our family room couch, in front of the news, iPad propped on my lap, playing Candy Crush Saga. Mind you, this is the same iPad that is now 127 pounds heavier than when I bought it last Christmas due to the hundreds and hundreds of free books I’ve downloaded since then, the books that I am supposed to be reading to improve my (very light and airy) mind. But there are those delightfully colored candy balls, popping and smashing and blinking and exploding all over the screen. They are so pretty. I love the chocolate one with all the colored dots on it the best; it’s a little like Christmas, don’t you think? The nonstop music loop is making me nutty, but there’s a mute button for that. The chocolate. Hate the chocolate, and I utterly loathe the $%&*@# flashing bombs. The nasty little goobers have kept me on my current level (104) for three days. I should write a letter to King.

I will get to one of those downloaded books as soon as I finish this level. Promise.