Things not to say at a job interview

Of all the things I write, list pieces are the humorous material that comes easiest to me. Usually the piece is created around a theme - either the client has something in mind or I come up with proposals. My technique is to get into character and then to write from that perspective. It's something David French and I used to do for the satirical features and interviews in As Above So Below magazine.
Here is a recent piece I put together as a sample.
Things not to say at a job interview
1. Do you get to take home free pens?
2. What's the policy on making international calls?
3. How much sick leave can I take in the first year?
4. Any hints about the staff most likely to be up for it?
5. I sometimes look after a friend's cat - any probs with bringing it into work?
6. I might need to leave early on Fridays, 'cos me and my mates like to get into the weekend mood early.
7. I don't do courses. Can someone take notes for me?
8. If I get the job and anyone comes looking for me, I may need to hide in a cupboard.
9. Can I get Internet TV on my computer?
10. I think qualifications are over-rated.