"In an attempt to rid myself of you,I have written down every confessionthat I should have shared..."

“

In an attempt to rid myself of you,

I have written down every confession

that I should have shared with you

while you were still here.

But instead, I chose to keep it all in

until long after you had been gone.

I have stained blank pages with secrets

that hold the ability to tear down

the thick walls of my heart,

and even while I work to ease

the resistance of each undeniable truth,

there are struggles remaining

that find their way onto the list of things

that I wish I could have made you understand

more thoroughly.

I have been holding onto your memory

for so long that I no longer know if you are

still here, or if it is your missing presence

that continues to linger on within in my mind.

Either way, your silhouette remains in all

the places that we once explored together;

working as one to reclaim the land as our territory,

and naming our surroundings after the love

that we had created.

And now that all the time has passed

without your love guarding me,

I am realizing that this strength inside of me

is not temporary, and is stable enough

to protect me from everything

that I once feared having to face alone.

”

- “I can save myself," Written by Colleen & Mariah