Fractures, Mean Girls, and Squiggly Straws

Here's the thing, when I was five years old I fell from the Monkey Bars, crashed to the ground and broke both my arms. That's right, I busted both arms at the same time. I always was an over-achiever. Anyhoo, the most I remember of the incident is that I was conscious long enough to tell my sister to go get Mommy. She did. That's all I know until I woke up surrounded by bright lights. Yep, thought I died. But then I heard my mother's voice in the distance like it was coming from someplace far...