Elfquest case follow-up

Originally published October 8, 1999, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1351

As of this writing, Hurricane Floyd is bearing down on my neck of the woods, so I’m not sure how much time I have to produce this column. Originally we had been assured that by the time it got here it would be downgraded to a tropical storm. Unfortunately, no one informed the hurricane of that.

Sometimes I truly wonder who’s more useless: weathermen who practice such an inexact science that they constantly get it wrong, or us because despite all the times they get it wrong, we still pay attention to them every time. It’s as if we all have terminal short-term memory problems.

So I’m going to try and be succinct and just do a few scattershot thoughts before running outside and battening down the garbage cans and barbeque…

Elfquest—Good News, Bad News Department: As you may recall, this column talked about how a dealer in back issues was hassled by local inept authorities for selling back issues of that paragon of profanity, Elfquest.

The bad news is that, boy, did I hear from every law enforcement official who reads this column, informing me that despite everything we’ve all been seeing in thirty years of watching cop shows, police indeed do not automatically read you your rights upon arrest. So when I expressed surprise that the local constabulary informed the defendant that they did not have to Mirandize him upon arrest—that they were not obligated to because they were not going to question him at that time—it turned out that, in fact, they were right. Wow. If you can’t count on cop shows to give you accurate depictions of law enforcement, what can you count on? Meteorologists, I guess. Oh… wait.

The good news is that I have been informed by Richard Pini, Elfquest publisher and head elf, that proceedings against the gentleman in question have been dropped. Apparently the case was thrown out of court. Which means that was another bullet which was dodged, and another assault on the First Amendment which was turned aside. Further good news is that the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, which stepped in to provide legal aid in the successful defense of the gentleman in question, received a flurry of memberships and checks as a consequence of people learning about this individual’s plight.

What would be nice is if more people were supporting the CBLDF as a pre-emptive move rather than simply reacting when a comic that they themselves enjoyed finally became targeted. Why wait? Act now. We managed to help get this one punted, but who knows whether the next challenge (maybe to a comic you yourself read) will thrust us into a tougher and more sustained fight. The address for the CBLDF is www.cbldf.org.

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Hurricane update: They keep saying that the Army National Guard has been “activated.” It gives me this mental image of all these soldiers lying in warehouses, inactive, their glassy eyes staring at nothing. Suddenly a surge of power goes through them and the National Guard guys snap to electronic life and parade out of the warehouse, ready to protect and serve.

I kind of like that, actually.

There’s something disconcerting about looking at weather maps on TV and seeing large animated clouds hovering directly over your place of residence.

I just had an electrical surge. Fortunately I’ve been saving as I write, but keeping my computer plugged in could be problematic. So I apologize for this rather short column. Hopefully we won’t be evacuated.

Stay dry.

(Peter David, writer of stuff, can be written to—at the moment—at Second Age, Inc., PO Box 239, Bayport, NY 11705.)