When God breaks your heart.

“Keep it together Rachel” I whispered to myself, don’t let them see you cry. It had only been a few hours since I had said the final goodbye to the children that had captured my heart at the orphanage. I had only been there two weeks but the love I had for these brave children was real. Now I was back  surrounded by my friends who had been on different mission adventures, everyone was laughing but I couldn’t shake the deep sadness that was in my heart. 

As soon as I could I went off  and found a quiet corner, pulling out my journal I wrote words but they seemed empty.  I didn’t know what to do anymore, the pain and need I had seen was very real. The hopelessness closed in around me, the job was too big, I was powerless to do anything.

Rachel.. I heard a voice calling.. Rachel I am breaking your heart.. Teaching you compassion, and empathy and love.

But God it hurts, it hurts so bad. I feel hopeless, broken…

I will break your heart and put it together again in a beautiful way. I will break your heart but I will never leave you without hope.

Time has gone on since that time. The hurt has healed but the passion and understanding of God’s heart has never left. God keeps breaking my heart for the things that break his and he is showing me his faithfulness and compassion time and time again.

When God breaks your heart he always has a plan and a purpose for it. He hates to see you hurt but he can see the end result and he whispers lean on me and you will make it, joy everlasting is coming.