KEEPING IT REAL ~ THE BATTLE BIZ FOR BOOK REVIEWS

THE BATTLE BIZ FOR BOOK REVIEWS

Yep, like all the blogs before me and the ones that will come aft, I will start mine off with the same damn line— “You just finished a book and it’s looking Shiny on Amazon, except for the gaping hole down on the bottom of the page where all the reviews go— so now what?”

 

 

 

Well, new authors, truth is: WELCOME TO THE BUSINESS OF BEING AN AUTHOR— it’s called sticking your neck out and getting folks to look at your book. It’s about taking precious time away from writing to promo, book, beg, and market. It’s about not looking in the mirror to see how many new gray hairs have cropped up since you last checked the sales data. In a word— UHG!

 

 

You network with others, you submit your book to numerous book review websites, and get tossed into a queue line, that just keeps getting longer and longer. You do give-a-ways for honest reviews, and keep your fingers crossed that those free book receivers will hold true to their word and actually post something, even better if the reviews are good ones.

 

You work diligently to build up a fan base on a favorite social network and chat with fans often enough that you hope they don’t mind your occasional shameless plug about posting a review:

 

 

You do whatever you can to stand out among the rest.

 

 

But trust me when I say: even the kings of peaCOCKing struggle with the task of getting that Amazon void filled.

 

Make all the duck faces and status posts you want— you have a long, long road ahead of you kiddo— and we’re all on it. {I’m just to the right of the second hump, in the bushes, dropping trough – I had to pee so bad}

 

 

Ever get stuck in bumper-to-bumper, gridlock traffic on the highway? Somewhere, way yonder ahead of you is a either an accident or construction zone that has the place closed to one lane and you are stuck like all the others, waiting for you turn to move— and then out of nowhere some ass hole pulls out of the lane, some one hundred cars BEHIND you and starts booking-it up the shoulder and passes you right along with about a hundred others AHEAD of you— you know what I am talking about because the keys under your fingers are starting to melt. You’ve been stuck in this shit for over an hour now and here comes this mofo pulling shady moves.

 

And before you know it, a few more follow suit.

 

Now, you could do it too and pass off about 200+ cars sitting ahead of you, and get out of this mess in under 30 minutes, because you’ve seen the light during the last crested hill. Question is— are you really THAT DISHONEST?

In the exploding business of Indy authors it seems there is also an equal amount of dishonesty taking place. It’s called Buying High Ranked Reviews and you can get them in bulk.

 

Now buying reviews isn’t a new thing. At www.Kirkusreviews.com and www.ForwardReviews.com, you can buy a ‘single’ review written from a highly regarded Best Selling Author of your genre. However, it will also cost you upwards of around $400.00{per review} and there is no guarantee it will be a five star rating or even a good one. {nope sorry not even for 4 big bills will you get lucky enough to have Stephen King or the likes write that your book gave them a boner – there really are some things you can’t buy in life}

 

But, a new site popped up roughly a year ago, www.GettingBookReviews.com; or that’s when it was first being whispered about with a not so kind reflection by many authors who struggle and worked hard for every review they get by their writing talent and friendly chatter alone. Nevertheless, this service has taken off considerably, especially among first time published Indies. And most certainly others have joined in like www.kwnypublicity.com

 

Now don’t get me wrong, this is by no means meant to bash Indy Authors, for Talon and myself are also Indies. Some really awesome authors are Indies or a mix of Indy & Traditional publishing. But let me give you a visual from mine and Tal’s perspective. His first novel: Becoming His Slave was released with editing issues, not because we didn’t have it edited, but because we got scammed by an editor after shelling out $300.00 thinking they did a great job and fooled us to thinking maybe we weren’t as bad at grammar as we knew we were and so we put it out there. Now, Talon for all his peaCOCKing abilities, sold plenty of books and his fans and friends loved him, but guess what his reviews said of his book?

 

 

“Great story but PLEASE get it edited.”

 

“I really tried to love this but the grammar and homophones just killed it.”

 

“I loved this story and the characters were HOT, but the errors in it were distracting.”

 

Not the kind of reviews you wanted to see, even when these same reviews ranged from 5 STARS {whoohoo} to 2 STARS {grumbles}.

 

Ask any author and they will recall with an abundance of detail the flop sweats and nerve racking wait for the first review to arrive. Of course, the first is usually from a friend and they are great liars because they believe in you and, of course, they want to see you succeed; so they leave a 5 star review. Your first non friend posted 4 or 5 has you squealing— but when that first 1 or 2 arrives, you invent all kinds of mass destruction for the reviewer, and you vent IN PRIVATE with your little support group and your author buddies will take pity on you because they were there one time too.

 

 

So how does, a first time author manage to get 80 reviews in 5 days and every one of them is a perfectly worded, meticulously thought out, sales pitch review?

 

MONEY.

 

Review packages start at around $79.00 for the reviews, plus the purchase price x the number of reviews.

 

For instance. You want their services for you new book:  JOE DOES A BLOW JOB by Joe Blow

 

You pay 79.00 for the initial services, choose your package, in this case you decide to go for the home run and want 100 reviews. Your Amazon retail price is $4.99. So you will pay the service to buy 100 copies of your book at 4.99ea {you at least get most of that back in your royalties} and as guaranteed by their services you will receive 100 – 5 STAR reviews within 1-2 weeks time. Each review is a verified purchase, protecting it from getting pulled {this was the company’s newest addition in the terms & conditions after Amazon started yanking even legit reviews left by non-purchasers}

 

And man oh man do the sales start pouring in— next thing you know these first time published books are soaring to the top of the charts and taking roots in the top five of the seller lists.

Now, to be perfectly frank with you: On the outside I was —AWESOME FOR YOU!!!— however, on the inside I was like —Huh? Wha-How? What the Fuck?— with envy.

 

Now, this is not to say that all books that hit the charts are not there by legit means. There are plenty that get out, having the right combination of popularity and networking, reach the mass audiences with plenty of fan backing. And because these books are just incredible stories that steal our hearts, they most certainly deserve their well earned rise to the top.

 

 

 

I must add, when standing in the spotlight you inevitable also put yourself under the microscope and people take notice— especially your peers. We’re there, writing, editing, blogging, promoting, more writing, more editing, networking 24/7 because sleep is soooo over rated— we know the drill.

Whether just getting out the gate with one book or a champion with thirty-plus— the game of authorship is as unchanging as it was twenty years ago. And you should know if you fast tracked it like magic, everyone else is going to be doing some serious rubber necking and take notice. After all, we want in on your expertise to instant stardom: {just add water}

 

 

Granted, we’re all looking for the next great way to get our books out there where the readers will see us and hopefully buy our books. We hope they will like or love them enough, they become devoted fans. And for the most of us, we try by honest means. Because let’s face it, whatever claims you make— you’d best be ready to back it up.

 

 

So what does it all boil down to in the end— I guess we’re still waiting on that review.

 

Did I just read a different book?

 

When the five stars don’t match up, when honest reviewers get attacked for posting lower rates, readers start to take notice, and so do other authors. Only, when your peers take notice, they tend to sit back; perhaps buy a bag of marshmallows {don’t forget the wine} and wait for the roasting to begin. In the end you will get the storm you created— unlike your Fake Rave Reviews, expect a mix bag of reactions:

 

 

And chances are eventually you’ll find yourself back at the end of the line— only the climb the second time around is a doozy.

For anyone else, I suppose the best forms of advice I can give {being only an author who has made it to the second rung of the ladder, would be the following:

 

~~ If someone gives you a lift, remember them and give back. If you can’t for them, then for someone else and pay it forward.

 

~~ If you have the pocket money to invest, use it for editing and developing. at least those things can never be taken away from you or your book.

 

~~ Keep it real. Honest reviews pay off in the long run and you always get to keep what you earned.

 

~~ He who squawks the loudest gets eaten first. Or in this case he who stands under the street lamp of a dark alley jingling the coin in his pockets gets mugged first.

 

Just remember, for all the colors in the world, at some point you’re going to stand naked before the judge— be ready, because karma is a badass bitch and she always makes sure the rest of the class gets to watch in the lesson of humiliation.

~~Prin

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KEEP IT REAL

 

 

The Twins: Talon ps & Princess so

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Author’s note: as of 11/10/2013 the website www.GettingBookReviews.com has closed down. Whether they have decided to take their money and run, go underground and will eventually surface another time under another name, time will tell— what will also be out for review is how certain authors will fair in future titles without their fancy purchased reviews.

To hear what other authors have to say on Keeping It Real: check out their blogs:

GA HAUSER ~ Pumped up on hundreds of fake Reviews – the new author steroids

PATRICIA LOGAN ~ Perveted Fruit – The Coming Storm

 Kage Allen also plans to put up a blog, but his link was not ready in time for this