Feedback Request

The author of the book featured in Face-Lift 1157 would like your opinion of the new version, posted below.

Dear Evil Editor,
Adriel has spent every day of her nineteen years in the slummiest neighborhood of America—County 29—named after the average lifespan of its inhabitants.  She knows her best chance of greeting her thirtieth birthday is to join the legendary Eternity Army.
Over three hundred years ago an enterprising doctor discovered the cure for aging; but not everyone can live forever. The elites of the world almost destroyed humanity fighting for the right to life, and eventually the Council of Thirteen won monopoly over both the cure, and the now ravaged America. Soldiers of the Eternity Army are gifted the cure for a period of fifty years of life—and Adriel is more than eager to take it.
At first, life as a soldier is everything Adriel has hoped for: meals are regular, her street-fighting skills are put to good use, and she even manages to thrive in a training environment that literally kills those who can’t keep up.  Soon she meets Dailen—the first man she’s known whom she can talk to without clasping a knife behind her back.
But when Dailen admits that he is actually a sleeper spy for the resistance, Adriel discovers the sacrificial relationship between the cure and the low life span in her home county. She knows she cannot go through with taking it.
Adriel vows to take down the council that has reigned far longer than nature intended, even If it means not making it to another birthday.
THE ETERNITY WARS is the first book of a trilogy and is completed at 75,000 words.