This Can Only Bring About Trouble…

but I’m typing it anyway.

tick tick tick – it’s like waiting for a bomb strapped to your chest to go off. The impending cycle to crash down on my mind.

So far this cycle of my bi-polar crazy – with all its attached friends – is taking it easy on me. (knocks on wood). I have had only a couple ‘bad’ days but for the most part it has been a gentle stirring of the brain and not a blender on high.

Yes, I know – I’m tempting fate.

I really have only two projects left I want to get done before this cycle does inevitably ramp up. One is a job I really rather hate doing – getting more wood for the season, so we can heat the house for the winter. The other is finish the novel I started just about a year ago.

I need the wood. It is how we keep the house warm in the winter. We might shiver through it – have done the first two years here – but it makes life miserable and the pipes freeze. So, as you can see, getting wood must be done. It also must be done before I reach a point where I don’t think it is safe to operate a chainsaw to fell trees (dead ones – I try not to deplete the few living things we still do have left). This stage of crazy unfortunately comes a good bit before my state of mind renders me unfit to drive (in my estimation).

The second issue – the novel. I started it just about this time last year and yet it is still not finished. Usually it takes me roughly six months  to write a novel, but this time I got interrupted ; life, brain, and all the rest of things that get in the way of creative outlet. Then, as I had been away from it so long, I found it hard to get back into the telling of it.

I reread what I had written four times to try to secure myself in the plot once more but even then I was reluctant. I finally bite the bullet and just started – telling myself edits would solve any issues. They will too, that is what they are for. I’m glad I forced myself to just jump in the deep end, because now I am coming to the home stretch – I estimate another 15 000 words at most. I should be able to do those words by the end of the month.

If I can finish it – soon – then I can finally get around to the other project that had been put off until I finished writing – editing book two.

But that can wait – if my brain decides it has to.

tick tick tick

Filed under: Homesteading, Mental Health, Writing Tagged: Bi-polar, Brain, chainsaw, crazy, current work in progress, cycle, edits, heat, Mental Health, novel, plot, trees, wierd thoughts, winter, wood, writing