Does the first sentence tell a story?
Huzzah sparkling new readers and authors.
We all have our favorite first sentences from exciting novels, noir and classic. I do too. I’m also a believer that the best first sentence often gets written last, after you know the story flow and ending. Then you write a sterling first sentence that promises at the pleasures the story contains. Even in the best and worst of times (joke).
The first sentence sets the tone. Is it a teaser? An appetizer of flavors to come? A challenge? A reminder? So I got curious.
I wanted to see the first sentence for each chapter in Sonoma Knight: Gurl-Posse Kidnap. It’s a crime thriller, the first paid case of my new PI Jake Knight, a Sonoma dairy farmer and Afghan vet.
I expect Gurl-Posse to be published as an ebook before Christmas. And I bet each first sentence tells a lot of story. Let’s see if I’m right.
C1: Ricky Serrato wheeled the transport van off the rain-slick freeway north of Santa Rosa and steered for the warehouse on the Rancheria.
C2: Wealth made Jake Knight uncomfortable.
C3: As Jake drove his faded Ford F-150 farm truck, the red rust bucket, down Hannah’s manicured drive, he dialed Colonel Harland “Hap” Hazard to debrief.
C4: The next winter storm rolled in dark and wet that evening.
C5: “Flash your lights, Mol.”
C6: “Otter” Arriba, chief field investigator of the Unified Tribes reservation constabulary heard his walkie-talkie squawk: “Shots fired.
C7: Molly roamed the back roads of the reservation in a thunderous downpour.
C8: Deep in a muddy three-acre corn field adjacent his house, Otter sketched a center line through the slop with his shovel at first light.
C9: Serrato stumbled from his cot, walked outside and unlocked the security gate at his warehouse on Sunday morning.
C10: Jake woke at dawn on Sunday morning, opened his laptop and dialed into the server at Hazard Security.
C11: Sunday morning after a shoot-out and Molly was home already – Jake couldn’t believe it.
C12: Serrato approached Jason Tambor’s house in his white Jeep Cherokee.
C13: As Jake cleared Hannah’s drive, he punched speed dial for The Colonel.
C14: Otter drove his black Escalade down the muddy road toward Tambor’s house early Monday morning.
C15: Jake turned into Hannah’s long drive past the open gates.
C16: Jake drove through the rain up the winding road to Tanya’s cottage.
C17: Serrato sat in his office drinking from a half empty bottle of tequila.
C18: Jake wheeled his truck into the gravel parking lot of the United Federation police station five minutes before ten o’clock on Tuesday morning.
C19: The next morning, Jake drove the ten miles from Tanya’s to his sheep dairy to catch up on chores.
C20: At three a.m., Molly woke from a dream and for the first time in her life could not get all the way back in her body.
C21: Valentina and her grandmother dozed in the back seat as Molly and Allie kept their heads together and their voices low.
C22: Serrato sat in darkness in his upstairs office.
C23: Jake sat in the red rust bucket outside Hannah’s house and pulled the laptop from its carrying case.
C24: Hazard had mentioned the Druids Club before.
C25: Serrato turned down Tamarack Lane toward Hannah’s mansion in the early evening twilight and cut his lights.
C26: Serrato drove through the open gate at his warehouse and parked by the door.
C27: Jake raced north on the freeway toward the reservation.
C28: Jake saw the flashing lights of the Sonoma Sheriff’s department cruiser pull into Hannah’s driveway from Molly’s upstairs bedroom window.
C29: Pitt raced his black sedan north on the freeway toward Serrato’s warehouse in the dead of night.
C30: “So what’s next?” Jake asked Pitt.
C31: Jake approached the driver of the DEA Task Force Suburban.
Still with me? Then you have perseverance. So email me for a free review copy of Sonoma Knight: Gurl-Posse Kidnap. PeterPrasad.SF@gmail.com.
And if you’d like to read the book that launched Jake’s career at a PI, find it here. http://dld.bz/cGQGK. Sonoma Knight: The Goat-Ripper Case. Thanks, readers.
We all have our favorite first sentences from exciting novels, noir and classic. I do too. I’m also a believer that the best first sentence often gets written last, after you know the story flow and ending. Then you write a sterling first sentence that promises at the pleasures the story contains. Even in the best and worst of times (joke).
The first sentence sets the tone. Is it a teaser? An appetizer of flavors to come? A challenge? A reminder? So I got curious.
I wanted to see the first sentence for each chapter in Sonoma Knight: Gurl-Posse Kidnap. It’s a crime thriller, the first paid case of my new PI Jake Knight, a Sonoma dairy farmer and Afghan vet.
I expect Gurl-Posse to be published as an ebook before Christmas. And I bet each first sentence tells a lot of story. Let’s see if I’m right.
C1: Ricky Serrato wheeled the transport van off the rain-slick freeway north of Santa Rosa and steered for the warehouse on the Rancheria.
C2: Wealth made Jake Knight uncomfortable.
C3: As Jake drove his faded Ford F-150 farm truck, the red rust bucket, down Hannah’s manicured drive, he dialed Colonel Harland “Hap” Hazard to debrief.
C4: The next winter storm rolled in dark and wet that evening.
C5: “Flash your lights, Mol.”
C6: “Otter” Arriba, chief field investigator of the Unified Tribes reservation constabulary heard his walkie-talkie squawk: “Shots fired.
C7: Molly roamed the back roads of the reservation in a thunderous downpour.
C8: Deep in a muddy three-acre corn field adjacent his house, Otter sketched a center line through the slop with his shovel at first light.
C9: Serrato stumbled from his cot, walked outside and unlocked the security gate at his warehouse on Sunday morning.
C10: Jake woke at dawn on Sunday morning, opened his laptop and dialed into the server at Hazard Security.
C11: Sunday morning after a shoot-out and Molly was home already – Jake couldn’t believe it.
C12: Serrato approached Jason Tambor’s house in his white Jeep Cherokee.
C13: As Jake cleared Hannah’s drive, he punched speed dial for The Colonel.
C14: Otter drove his black Escalade down the muddy road toward Tambor’s house early Monday morning.
C15: Jake turned into Hannah’s long drive past the open gates.
C16: Jake drove through the rain up the winding road to Tanya’s cottage.
C17: Serrato sat in his office drinking from a half empty bottle of tequila.
C18: Jake wheeled his truck into the gravel parking lot of the United Federation police station five minutes before ten o’clock on Tuesday morning.
C19: The next morning, Jake drove the ten miles from Tanya’s to his sheep dairy to catch up on chores.
C20: At three a.m., Molly woke from a dream and for the first time in her life could not get all the way back in her body.
C21: Valentina and her grandmother dozed in the back seat as Molly and Allie kept their heads together and their voices low.
C22: Serrato sat in darkness in his upstairs office.
C23: Jake sat in the red rust bucket outside Hannah’s house and pulled the laptop from its carrying case.
C24: Hazard had mentioned the Druids Club before.
C25: Serrato turned down Tamarack Lane toward Hannah’s mansion in the early evening twilight and cut his lights.
C26: Serrato drove through the open gate at his warehouse and parked by the door.
C27: Jake raced north on the freeway toward the reservation.
C28: Jake saw the flashing lights of the Sonoma Sheriff’s department cruiser pull into Hannah’s driveway from Molly’s upstairs bedroom window.
C29: Pitt raced his black sedan north on the freeway toward Serrato’s warehouse in the dead of night.
C30: “So what’s next?” Jake asked Pitt.
C31: Jake approached the driver of the DEA Task Force Suburban.
Still with me? Then you have perseverance. So email me for a free review copy of Sonoma Knight: Gurl-Posse Kidnap. PeterPrasad.SF@gmail.com.
And if you’d like to read the book that launched Jake’s career at a PI, find it here. http://dld.bz/cGQGK. Sonoma Knight: The Goat-Ripper Case. Thanks, readers.
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We like to write and read and muse awhile and smile. My pal Prasad comes to mutter too. Together we turn words into the arc of a rainbow. Insight Lite, you see?
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