Let's Talk About Rape
It started with this article. Feminists don't think all men are rapists. Rapists do.
I've posted it on my facebook page before, and it sparked some interesting discussion, but this morning I saw it re-posted on the pages of 3 different friends - 2 of whom were men. Yay! It's a great article, one of the ones that you read and go; yeah, that's RIGHT.
Thing is, on each one of those posts, a different guy came in with the same old arguments, completely diversionary and irrelevant to the article content.
The article opens with pretty much what happened during the course of comments over each of those threads. I talked about triggers for survivors, and trauma, and gave my personal experience of finding the daily sexism and rape jokes to be upsetting.
It was explained to me by a nice young man how rape is taken seriously in society, and how rape jokes rely on that to have impact, to be funny.
Click this to see how seriously rape (sexual assault) is taken in Irish society. Or this. Or, try here - the child rapist who can't be sent to prison because he has a family to support.
Worldwide, women's experience with Everyday Sexism is a shocking, horrifying, testament to the fact that there is an inherent tacit acceptance of sexism and sexual violence in society, all societies.
If you don't object to everyday social rape jokes, it isn't because you don't want to restrict those who are working to break taboo with comedy. It's about hearing something that makes you personally uncomfortable, and simply laughing along because everyone else is. Or joining in because everyone else does. Or worse - it's you not even noticing that it should make us uncomfortable, that it is edgy or taboo testing - because it's so NORMAL.
Society is not some amorphous blob hovering over Ireland, controlling our experiences (well, that's a weird thought that won't help me sleep at night - thanks brain). What we say, what we do, what we accept everyday - all of that weaves together to become society. What I do today, writing, speaking, participating in social media, talking to my kids, making or spending my money - I am society. You are society, doing or not doing the same things.
Are you happy with how society is today? Are you happy and content as an Irish citizen, living your life every day in this land, with these people? What is wrong with our society that judges are comfortable, and allowed to get away with the type of 'punishments' noted above? What is wrong with the people who believe it is acceptable, normal, to commit these crimes in the first place? Where does the path start that leads to yet another rape victim? It starts with the acceptability of everyday sexism. It starts with you.
I've posted it on my facebook page before, and it sparked some interesting discussion, but this morning I saw it re-posted on the pages of 3 different friends - 2 of whom were men. Yay! It's a great article, one of the ones that you read and go; yeah, that's RIGHT.
Thing is, on each one of those posts, a different guy came in with the same old arguments, completely diversionary and irrelevant to the article content.
When everything becomes taboo that is most dangerous. Mate, if the all the jokes we have laughed at would somehow be representative of our values....
Making laughter taboo is detrimental pc nonsense imo.
...the more you try to censor rape jokes and the more taboo you try to make it to talk flippantly about rape, the more the temptation for people to joke about it there will be.Now, joking about hot button topics in a comedic setting is an interesting way of garnering attention and publicity for comedians, or attention seekers in general. Making rape jokes may even be a healthy way for a survivor to deal with their trauma, to decompress, to dismiss lingering elements of what has happened to them. I get that. Breaking societal taboos and using humour to start or continue discussions can be an appropriate psychological tactic. That's not what we're talking about here though.
The article opens with pretty much what happened during the course of comments over each of those threads. I talked about triggers for survivors, and trauma, and gave my personal experience of finding the daily sexism and rape jokes to be upsetting.
It was explained to me by a nice young man how rape is taken seriously in society, and how rape jokes rely on that to have impact, to be funny.
Click this to see how seriously rape (sexual assault) is taken in Irish society. Or this. Or, try here - the child rapist who can't be sent to prison because he has a family to support.
Worldwide, women's experience with Everyday Sexism is a shocking, horrifying, testament to the fact that there is an inherent tacit acceptance of sexism and sexual violence in society, all societies.
If you don't object to everyday social rape jokes, it isn't because you don't want to restrict those who are working to break taboo with comedy. It's about hearing something that makes you personally uncomfortable, and simply laughing along because everyone else is. Or joining in because everyone else does. Or worse - it's you not even noticing that it should make us uncomfortable, that it is edgy or taboo testing - because it's so NORMAL.
Society is not some amorphous blob hovering over Ireland, controlling our experiences (well, that's a weird thought that won't help me sleep at night - thanks brain). What we say, what we do, what we accept everyday - all of that weaves together to become society. What I do today, writing, speaking, participating in social media, talking to my kids, making or spending my money - I am society. You are society, doing or not doing the same things.
Are you happy with how society is today? Are you happy and content as an Irish citizen, living your life every day in this land, with these people? What is wrong with our society that judges are comfortable, and allowed to get away with the type of 'punishments' noted above? What is wrong with the people who believe it is acceptable, normal, to commit these crimes in the first place? Where does the path start that leads to yet another rape victim? It starts with the acceptability of everyday sexism. It starts with you.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.So make a choice - are you part of the problem, or part of the solution? What can you do to make a difference today? Share this post on your Facebook or Twitter, or any of the links in the article, and observe the reaction of your friends and family...
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