The Classic Double Standard: Why You Can’t Serve Two Masters

Have you ever thought, “God, I need to lose weight!” and yet when a friend or partner hinted at the same thing, you were furious? You cannot demand that other people love and accept “who you are” when you don’t give yourself the same gift. You wish you were thin. You wish you were different. Yet, when someone else wishes it also, then they are considered mean, judgmental, and superficial. You can’t have it both ways!

 

Besides, who is this “who I am” to whom you refer? Is it an entity separate from your body, your actions, your integrity? I mean, it sounds plausible in some far-off place floating in the clouds far away from the earth; but for now, I want to offer you that your psyche is not buying it.

 

If you want to be thin and healthy while simultaneously trying to convince yourself that it is OK that you are not, then not only are you wasting a lot of time and energy, you are also setting up internal conflict that is difficult to overcome. How can you expect others to bestow unconditional love upon you when you are setting up a double standard internally? Quit demanding unconditional love and acceptance from anyone outside of yourself. When you live with integrity (by acting in ways that are in alignment with your hopes and dreams for life), you will set yourself up for love and respect that comes from the only place that matters: inside of you.

 

You either want this or you don’t. You are the master of your life.

 

 

 

 

This idea and others can be found in my book, Lit from Within: The Sacred Path of Healthy Self-Esteem and Permanent Weight Loss.