APPLYING TO COLLEGE TODAY …WHAT TO CONSIDER FIRST.

It’s November. College applications are due. High school seniors have whittled choices to a stack of hopefuls. The window to submit applications has shortened. The pressure is on. Stress is high. Everyone’s talking, especially the parents.

Some teenagers know exactly what they want to do and where they want to be. Some know that college isn’t for them. If you fall into one of these two categories, please note that this post is not for you. This is for all those who don’t know exactly what they want to do, or where they want to be.

Last year at this time, as my middle child prepared applications, a friend who’d never had children gave me the best advice about college that I’d ever heard.

Her background is important. She had a career at a Fortune 100 company, and part of that time she traveled the country interviewing college graduates for investment and banking jobs. As she explained, time available to interview was limited to about 15 schools per year. So she chose to visit universities in cities with forward-thinking companies.

She reasoned. “Go to any college, walk the campus, and look at the names on the buildings. Those local companies are funding the school. Those companies are also hiring the best and the brightest from that school.” I didn’t disagree. “Let’s consider a private or out-of-state school versus our large in-state institutions. Probably you have smaller classes, professors instead of teacher’s assistants, and maybe, deeper conservations. Maybe the campus is smaller, the social life more inviting. Maybe your college experience is more what you had in mind for your child. But the cost of that private or out-of-state institution is more than $50K/year, more than twice as much as your best state school. Then there’s a monthly allowance, travel expenses, books, fees…it adds up fast. When you graduate student loans could be more than $200K.” I found myself focusing on each word as if it were a script. Then, as her voice slowed, I listened with more focus. “Do you really want your child to start out burdened with all that debt? How old will they be when they can buy a car or qualify for a home mortgage? Life is only getting more expensive.What about graduating with that first job? I understand that college is an experience and an important part of growing up. Every child should have the opportunity to go to college. But I don’t understand why parents keep talking about these small prestigious schools or the out-of-state universities. Unless parents can carry the tuition load, they’re sending their kids down the wrong path.”

Conversation got specific as it turned to the University of Washington, just a ferryboat ride away. Buildings across the campus had names that I recognized. Tuition was half that of any private school. I remembered the large checks written to pay for the small private institution that my oldest child attended. She transferred to the UW in her junior year. I’ll never forget the relief felt when the UW tuition bill arrived in my inbox. And I felt even greater relief when she graduated in 2010, when jobs for graduates were most scarce, but she was one of the lucky few. She started work immediately at Microsoft. Guess what she majored in? Political science.

My friend’s reasoning made sense. “I don’t understand why parents push their kids to private schools or these out-of-state institutions unless their kids know what they want and where they want to be. Seems to me that parents are confusing their egos with reality when graduation arrives.” There wan’t anything more to say.

Yes, I want my middle child to learn how to think, not what to think. A small liberal arts college may serve that ideal better. Yes, college should provide a social experience. But most important, I want my child to graduate with a good job and minimal student loans. I know he will work hard during these years and make the most of his time at the UW. And I am confident that hard work will be rewarded with opportunity.

My youngest children are 9 and 10 years old. Competition will increase dramatically between now and when they start college. There is always community college to consider. After two years at one of our community colleges and maintaining a relative GPA, students are guaranteed admittance as a junior at the UW. Thank goodness thoughts of college can rest on the back burner for several more years.

How best can we help our children choose the right college today? Goodness knows, we all want our children to be successful.