The case of the can of soup case!

Okay,  before I get to that I’m going to share a secret…
I’m currently getting my website redesigned and I’ve been holding off adding more stuff to my current one because I love my designer and I don’t want to make it harder on her. BUT, I couldn’t let this one go. If I don’t get it down with words I may not remember it and what’s the point of torturing my honey if I forget the gold?
Here’s the setup. I’m sick. Yes, I know, you probably have never heard that before and rightly so. It’s been a few years, maybe five since I’ve been sick enough to say I’m sick. Shocking. Actually my daughter came by the house and wanted to take me to the hospital. So yeah, no one is used to me being sick, but especially Honey. The poor guy kind of has a meltdown, you know? He starts preparing for things. Not my demise, interestingly enough, but he snaps into being very responsible for unusual things all of a sudden. Take for instance, grocery shopping. He hates it. Never does it unless he’s threatened with…well, never mind what I have to cut out of some of our *cough, cough* relationship schedule, but you get the point. So, where am I going with this? I’m sick and he goes grocery shopping without complaining, but more importantly, without calling me seven times from the store. Yes, people, Honey was winging it.
To be honest he could have brought home a live cow (to butcher) and a Petri dish (for us to grow our own cheese in) and I wouldn’t have blinked an eye. But a few days later when I got a gander at what he did bring home? I was stumped.  A case of soup. At this point you’re probably thinking the poor guy. Aw he brought home to his sick wife a pile of chicken soup so she could get better, right? *pulls down my readers as I narrow my eyes at you* guess again. We had plenty of chicken soup. In fact, soup is one of my things. I make it from scratch and freeze it. I don’t need Campbell’s and that’s what I got. Cream of mushroom, by the way. Happens to be Honey’s favorite. So there I am, once I’m feeling better, going into the pantry when I see it. Here’s how it plays out after I spot the hard to miss case of twenty-four cans on the shelf. Did I mention that there are twenty-four cans and Honey is the only one in this household of three to eat the stuff? I do digress. Let me get on with this.
“Hey, hon, what’s with the case of mushroom soup in the pantry?”
“I bought it.”
I close the pantry door and walk into the family. “I gathered that. I really didn’t think you won it a card game or something. So what’s the deal?”
He turns and looks over the back of the couch. Don’t ask me why, but trust me on this, when he pulls this move it’s because he wants to convince me of something otherwise he’d keep watching golf.
“I know this is going to sound stupid but it’s for a catastrophe.”
In my head I’m laughing my ass off. Mushroom soup is going to fix that? Come on. “You’re joking right? Was it on special or something?”
“No, I’m serious. We need canned goods, don’t we? In case there’s an emergency.”
Okay, I was going to bite. This sounded like a doozy. “What kind of emergency?”
“Zombies. Armageddon. End of the world type shit.”
Now I got it. He’d been spending too much time alone while I was sick. Probably watching TV and thus contemplating the frailty of man. But it’s the frailty of man I must mention now because when Mr. Save-me-from-the-end-of-the-world-type-shit did the shopping he forgot one very important thing and I had to point it out to him.
“I see. Well, when the world is coming to an end and you’re in fear of us starving to death, do you really think eating cans of ‘fat free’ soup will be the way to go to stop that from happening?”
That got him off the couch. He shot up, demanding,“Fat free?!”


Yeah, my work there was done. *shakes head* The lesson I learned? I can’t afford to be sick as there’s no telling what he’d buy next time.


 
Riley