Interview with an Incubus
It’s here! Day four of the Straight to Hell tour. Be sure to check me out at Chuckle’s Book Cave. And don’t forget to register for the fabulous prize package!
Well, after much coaxing and prodding, I’ve finally gotten William Benedict himself to grant me an interview. The picture is not of him, of course. It’s actor Elliot Cowen, but William wasn’t interested in being photographed. He said, and I quote, “I don’t like the way I look in photos.” (Editor’s note: the man is vain to the core.) Anyway, Cowen is a very close approximation of Mr. Benedict back in his human days, so I’ll go with that.
[image error]Question: You’ve lived over a hundred years. What are some of the changes you’ve noticed in that time?
William: The obvious answers are electricity, indoor plumbing, and the Internet. But people are different, too. Especially women.
Q: Can you explain that?
W: Women are far more independent than they used to be. They speak their own minds and expect men to listen.
Q: Are you thinking of Lilith Straight when you say that?
W: No comment. *pause* Although, yes, she is very independent.
Q: You’ve known several of Lilith’s predecessors. How is she different from the other women in Sarah Goodswain’s line?
W: She isn’t. They’re all alike. Women, I mean. Yes, they’ve become more independent and changed a few of their attitudes, but they still all want the very same thing: security. Usually the security brought about by pairing up with a man. And not just any man! They want a mewling, milquetoast who obeys their every whim and listens to every whine. Who puts them on a pedestal while at the same time giving them freedom to do whatever the hell they want. *he loosens tie*
Q: Should we take a break?
W: No, I’m fine. *he drinks some water* Like I said, all women are basically the same. Lilith’s ancestors all wanted me to coddle them. Even her mother needed a shoulder to cry on. Most of my job as an incubus is to stay quiet and let histrionic women air their complaints.
Q: That’s a rather brutish way to put it. It makes you sound almost…
W: Misanthropic? *shrugs* It’s always the same thing with women. I’ve had a lot of experience in this area.
Q: How many women have you seduced?
W: You couldn’t count that high.
Q: During all that time, have you ever found someone special.
W: Ha! Of course not.
Q: Because it makes things complicated?
W: No, because it makes things dangerous. For me. My contract specifically says that I am not to fall in love. If I want to survive another hundred years, I must make sure that doesn’t happen. *pause* Although, I have had a few close calls. Lilith’s mother, Carrie, was a good friend, and I miss her. It was difficult not to think of her as a sister or daughter.
Q: And Lilith?
W: *he sighs* Lilith is…interesting. She has the ability to get behind my demon and bring out my humanity. It’s the damnedest thing!
Q: So Lilith is special.
W: I believe this interview is over.
