That's NOT a Bad Word?

Last week Gomer was looking up words in the dictionary. Every week for school he has to look up new words and write down the definitions. When he's done with his homework, he peruses the dictionary to find the definitions of new words he'd like to learn.





Now, we just had our parent teacher conference where his teacher told us what a bright and inquisitive child he is, so you would think that he would use that extra time with his dictionary to look up words like: 





Profligacy: recklessly wasteful; wildly extravagant, profligate behavior

or
Apoplectic: sudden loss of the ability to feel or move





Yeah, not my kid. 




So, I'm working in my office and in comes Gomer with his dictionary and huge eyes.




Gomer: Mom! Guess what?




Me: What?




Gomer: I was reading my dictionary and I discovered something.




Me: Oh yeah? [I stop what I'm doing and I wait for my son to enlighten me and expand my vocabulary with a word like Ersatz: used as a poor-quality substitute for something else, inferior to an original item.]




Gomer: Yeah. I was told "ass" is a bad word, but it's not! It's a donkey! So when someone says, "I'm going to kick your ass, they just mean "I'm going to kick your donkey!" Right? [he thinks for second] Oh wait. It's the second definition they're talking about isn't it? [he whispers] The butt one?





Me: Yes, Gomer, it's the butt one that's bad.




Gomer: But I can still use the word ass when I'm talking about donkeys, right?

Me: No. Because I know what you're doing. You're pushing the envelope. No one uses the word ass for donkey anymore. You're just trying to get away with using a word you think is bad.




Gomer: Hmm. That sucks, because I want to tell people: "My favorite video game is Ass Kong."




I had to leave the room so he wouldn't see me laughing at him. My son's laconic sense of humor slays me every single time.









What words did your kid look up in the dictionary?




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