Spirit Fire - POV revisions

The heavy lifting for the rewrite of Spirit Fire is done. One of the problems: I had too many characters with Point of View (POV) scenes. Eleven scenes had to be rewritten or deleted to get from ten POV characters to four. The evaluator doesn’t give me a clue of how or even specifics of why I should do this. I have to figure it all out, so in the end, the solutions are all my own creation. Here is an example. I had a very dramatic scene involving Conchelik and her infant son. In the middle of the night, she is warned that her husband’s half-brother is in the village murdering everyone in the family. She and her son are high on the list to be killed because her son is in line to be chief. She makes a harrowing escape into the black of night with the help of another woman. The gory murders are described by the woman. We see Conchelik’s fear, determination, and desire for revenge. This experience and Conchelik’s response will be very important later in the story. What is wrong with this?
This is the only scene where Conchelik is the POV character. She appears briefly one other time in a scene where someone else is the POV character. So I have caused the reader to become invested in Conchelik, but then she disappears from the story. Instead of moving the plot along, I have led my reader into a cul-de-sac.
Solution: Rewrite the original escape scene from a major character’s POV in which the murders are seen firsthand and become the main focus of the scene (Conchelik’s escape is barely mentioned); rewrite the scene in which Conchelik is not the POV character and blend in her fear, determination, and desire for revenge; rewrite a later scene where Conchelik is mentioned and add details of her escape. Result—more drama and smoother transitions.
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Published on November 02, 2013 15:37 Tags: spirit-fire
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