Food Angst – the Hallowe’en Edition

No wonder it’s hard to have an eating disorder. FOOD IS EVERYWHERE! All the time, at all times of the day, for all ages, in every situation. Food, food, FOOD!

I realize other things, like alcohol and gambling and drug use, are also huge and terrible problems but, for most of us – and especially for children – they are less pervasive. Children really shouldn’t be running into alcohol at elementary school – if there is alcohol at your child’s school, might I recommend digging into that a little deeper?

But food … well food is most definitely at school. There’s food that’s sold – milk, pizza, subs, etc. There’s food that’s not allowed (no peanuts please!). There’s food that parents pack and, while you might think this would be the least controversial food of all, I am here to tell you it is NOT.

Especially not on October 31, and the days immediately following.

Here’s the email message that went out from our school administration on Friday: “As we are encouraging healthy eating at school, we ask that you consider NOT sending Hallowe’en snacks  as a treat for your child in the days following their evening of trick or treating.”

Cue blood boiling. Cue warpath. Cue me saying a rather inappropriate word to describe the likelihood of me NOT allowing my sons to each pick one tiny (and I do mean miniscule) box, containing about eight Smarties, and put it in their lunchbox on the day following Hallowe’en, which just happens to be a Friday. Who doesn’t deserve a treat on the Friday after Hallowe’en?

You see, much as I believe the state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation, I also believe the school has no business in the lunch boxes of their students. I even qualify that a bit by not sending peanuts or tree nuts to school. I believe in an allergic child’s right not to die at school, and I believe in their parents’ rights not to fear their child dying every day.

However, I equally believe in my right to send my child 23 grams of candy on the day after Hallowe’en.

This is a subject I could talk about for a long, long time. I’m completely fine with schools deciding what food they will and won’t sell / allow to be sold to students. I like the idea of teachers not handing out treats and candy in class. I support schools sending home the garbage generated from lunches sent to school. However, as to what I send, from home, for my child to eat – well, I think that decision is best left to me.

Here are just a few reasons why nobody else should monitor / comment on the contents of a child’s lunch box:

- Food allergies / sensitivities – if it isn’t your child, you don’t know what he can, or cannot eat and what that leaves for a parent to send to school.

- Cultural / religious / value-based food choices – unless you live in a household, you have no idea.

- Temporary restrictions for medical or behavioural reasons – family’s lives are complex; nobody can know everything that’s going on in a home.

- Personal circumstances – when a family is dealing with an illness, or a stressful situation, they might be lucky to send a lunch at all. Having an outsider comment on the quality of the lunch is not helpful.

- Not knowing all the facts. I hand make pretty much everything that goes to school with my children. As a result, my homemade cookies are “healthier” than many pre-packaged granola bars. Don’t ride my child for his homemade cookie.

There are other reasons, too, quite apart from the big, overriding one which is that young children have very little say in what is sent to school with them, but they are the ones publicly humiliated when a teacher identifies their snack as “unhealthy” or the Hallowe’en candy they bring as “bad”.

If a teacher or a staff member, believes there is a genuine health concern with what a child is being given to eat, there are ways to address that appropriately (and quietly, and discreetly, and not in the classroom, to a six-year-old, in front of 20 other children).

I’ve sent a note to school explaining that since my children are rarely-to-never allowed to bring anything pre-packaged to school, Hallowe’en represents a rare opportunity for them to do so, and that I will be sending them with a (nut-free) treat that they pick out.

I have asked that they not be chastised for this.

The answer? “I would hope this would never happen.”

My answer – It had better not.