i can tell when i really feel suicidal because i'm applyi...

i can tell when i really feel suicidal because i'm applying my absence everywhere, i view everything as already 'without me' in a way that feels comforting at first but then scary, because the same thing (everything 'without me') makes me not want to kill myself.  but then it's like, that's only a scare someone can have while alive, so if i wasn't alive, i wouldn't even be having it. good shit, man.