MONSTER TRAIT No. 12:

MONSTER TRAIT No. 12: Monsters are evil. Make no mistake about it. While they may occasionally look like Howdy Doody, Alfred E. Neuman, Ren, Stimpy, Popeye, or Homer Simpson, they are bad. Despite their warm, practiced smile, their lovely, heartrending speeches, their holding aloft of babies, despite their really cool slogans, and their expensive, slammin toys, there is no heart darker or more minuscule than that of monsters. UNITED STATES OF MAMMON.