8 ways the RIAA could help you survive a zombie outbreak

So your town's got an outbreak of zombieism.  The dead have risen from the grave, glassy-eyed and stumbling around like English soccer fans after a World Cup defeat. They've started devouring your friends and neighbours, and odds are, they're coming for you next.

Now take a moment to relax, because there are important things to remember.  Most critically, never forget that zombies are dumb as all bloody hell.  Put a lampshade on your head and they'll walk right by you.  But okay, let's say...