Chapter 1, The Corporeal Pull by Sara Gauldin
Chapter 1
Several months earlier…
Terra gazed into the complacent mob of trainees and braced herself to give a training speech. The strange tension of anxiety gripped her, but she was determined to continue; she would not allow herself to be perceived as weak. The room seemed larger from her vantage point. The faces that should seem young and naïve now appeared expectant and demanding. A soft blue hue emanated from them like the pale glimmer of light passed through water. She clutched the podium for support and willed herself to begin the speech. ”The pitfall of a productive career is the obligation to convey the means of that accomplishment to the less successful or less-experienced masses,” Terra murmured. She was determined to firm up her resolve. Let’s just say that Terra was not by nature a teacher. She was very content in her role as a guide. She cleared her throat and gazed at the silent audience of prospective guides. These individuals were meant to be the essential component of so many mortal lives on Earth. So many choices were in their hands and in their future. The eventual courses of so many lives rested on their effectiveness. They looked to Terra and other experienced guides for an example. They would learn to look to the One for options and absolutes. Success would depend on so much more; only experience could teach them that portion of their duty.
Terra took a deep breath and committed to telling them the most essential truth about mortal life. “The human mind is a tangible thing. Mortal flesh was never made for resilience. It is flawed and imperfect. At best, it is a filter for the soul. At worst, it is more like a stopper. Immortal memories are a different thing; unencumbered by the fleshy constructs of humanity. I can remember every soul I have guided. I can tell you when and where they carried out their human lives and what part, they had to play in eternity. I can recall every detail, but I choose to focus more on those individuals who are currently in the mortal form than the ones who have completed their challenge.”
Terra’s voice wavered as she began to speak, as she continued she steadied herself. Her knowledge, rather than her passion began to show through her awkwardness. She let herself become encompassed by her speech. The faces among the crowd appeared to grow distant as they merged into a single sea of impersonal color. Terra tucked a wisp of her fine blond hair behind her ear. Her piercing blue eyes were trained on the general direction of her audience.
“The distinction is what’s important; being able to interpret the degree of filtration a human mind will have on a soul’s achievement is crucial in guiding that soul to a successful result. What could be more important?”
Terra continued “It is clear that the spirits’ journey into the mortal world varies from individual to individual. Essentially there are two extreme scenarios and many degrees of combinations in the middle. On one end of the spectrum, the soul has complete dominion over the mortal mind and instinctual body. These individuals have a clear perspective on their own purpose and role in life. Often this degree of clarity results in individuals who are highly motivated to move towards the greater good. The down side to this arrangement is that without the motivation of instinct and worldly concerns it is more possible for these individuals to neglect their own personal or physical needs in favor of more transcendental pursuits. This tendency can shorten the entities stay in the mortal world which can hurt the chances of completing their spiritual goal despite the clarity of the goal.”
Terra paused to allow those in the audience who were taking notes to catch up. She realized that her knees still trembled slightly as she waited. After an uncomfortable pause she continued.
“Ironically the situation where an individual is wholly focused on a spiritual purpose and neglectful of the physical has caused the very fleshy injuries that caused the second extreme to stand in the way of completion.”
Terra was fully in the moment. She gradually released her vise grip on the podium and began to gesture as she spoke. The crucial designation was clear to her. “The second extreme is the unfortunate circumstance of the trapped soul. The soul finds itself completely subject to the needs, wants, instincts, limitation or physical damages to the mortal body. This can manifest itself in many ways. The least extreme form of physical dominance is the situation where individuals experience some form of conditioning or mental malfunction that causes them to become more focused on themselves than on the larger picture of existence. Hedonism is a dangerous distraction in the mortal world. The more limiting form of physical dominance involves entities who find themselves trapped or disabled by their corporeal body or mind. Some are born with physical or mental limitations; some suffer injuries along the way that inhibit their ability to overrule their physical inclination in favor of their greater purpose.”
She was completely wrapped up in the moment. She could feel the burning importance of truth shining through in the form of her speech. She realized that it was the perfect time to discuss the most important part; “Most successful individuals find a balance somewhere in the middle. Life is after all intended to be a balance between the physical and spiritual beings. This tandem is what allows for a healthy balance. A well-balanced life is far more likely to serve the greater purpose well, and to complete the finer tasks set forth for them.”
The remainder of the speech seemed to flow from Terra’s consciousness. The moments blended together. Terra realized that she had imparted the knowledge that she had come to pass along. Her term as a public speaker was at its end; at least for the time being. The crowd clapped politely. None of the faces before Terra reflected the essentially crucial nature of the message she had shared. She felt herself flush slightly. The spell was broken. Her self-consciousness now washed over her like a wave.
As Terra returned to her seat, she found the faces of the masses distinguishable once again; she only recognized a few of the trainees. More guides were created when the number of souls dispersed to Earth increased. Clearly, Earth was becoming more crowded over the eons. She wondered what the ultimate capacity would be. She walked to her seat near to rear of the amphitheater. The next speaker, a guide named Nathaniel stood and began a lengthy description of the proper way to choose a path for a mortal. Terra knew these principles by heart. Her mind began to wander towards more pressing matters.
Terra had never been remarkable. She served without question. She performed her function well and was devout and dedicated to her work. As a guide, Terra was ideal. Her experience encompassed thousands of years and tens of thousands of corporeal souls that she purposefully guided. Of course that really does not tell much about Terra as a person but to put it bluntly she was not a person. At least, she was not one in the traditional sense that anyone would be comfortable regarding.
Terra loved her work. Guiding was the most purposeful rewarding thing she could imagine doing. She could not possibly conceptualize loving anything more. Her eternity was certain, and she was content. Note that she WAS content, but all sentient beings have the capacity for change, even Terra.
In retrospect, Terra should have seen that she was different in some ways. Her focus was so complete that she was oblivious that not everybody’s undivided attention was directed solely on their transcendental purpose. Had she stepped outside of herself and looked around Terra would have seen the healthy relationships formed by those around her. She would have noticed that there were joys in the Tweens that she had never experienced. She would have seen the mortal bound entity’s capacity for love. Terra would have been impressed by how much she was missing. Granted; changes in perspective can help anyone learn more about themselves. The thing Terra would have noticed the most is that she was lonely. Of course she had no idea that she was lonely or even that she could be lonely. Terra interacted with others. Even so, those interactions were part of her job. Her thoughts were a constant stream of others’ thoughts and feelings from the mortal world, ready for her to interpret and react to. There were thousands of souls who had feelings and were concerned about the other entities involved with their Earthly lives; however, none of them thought of Terra. None of them remembered her name, yet she spent her existence dedicated to theirs. Seldom did Terra let others get close enough to know her. There were a few individuals who cared for her. They made it a point to seek Terra out and to ensure her well-being. She did not see that either, but perhaps somewhere, deep down; she was aware of that sense of connection.
An eternity without change would sound monotonous to most people, but Terra had never seen a reason to change. To her, it was comforting. Terra knew her place in the grand scheme of the universe. She understood the role she was to play. She knew what her routine would entail. Terra could anticipate trouble with the mortal entities that she guided and knew their needs and wants often before they knew them themselves. Indeed, Terra was wholly content in the purpose of her existence. She saw no reason to change. Sameness felt like happiness to Terra because she had no frame of reference. She would not learn about real joy until later in her existence.
In the human world, mortals are driven by strong emotions. They fall in and out of love and hate. They follow dim convictions based on their personal ideals. Although there is very little immediate physical effect from emotions, these fleeting states of mind set into motion changes and actions that ripple through the human world leaving a legacy of beauty or a horrible rift. Of course that was a temporal weakness. Terra could observe the hazards of these thoughts and reactions and knew; conversely, she thought that she knew to avoid them.
From her perspective, Terra existed in an unchanging state during the first part of her eternity. She would have told anyone that she was timeless, productive and happy to be that way. In reality, the lack of change became the agonist of the larger transition. Terra was so comfortable in her rut and routine that she did not see the beautiful changes in her existence coming until they took her by surprise. This change was a wonderful surprise that would tear her world, her perception and her entire sense of identity apart, rip it to shreds and show her a part of herself that she never knew existed.
