Toddler vs English Language – Toddler Always Wins!

Kids just learning to talk can be amusing, and exasperating. My youngest was 14 months old before he said anything other than the basic mama/dada words out loud, though we did hear him mumbling to himself for several months before that. When he broke out in real speech, it was overnight. He had been practicing by himself. He chose his moment for this breakout with care, it seemed.

We were getting ready to go to a camping event and trying to get the van loaded. He was not helping. Finally, his older brother turned to him and said, “If you don’t stay out of the boxes, I’m going to duct tape you to the ceiling!” He wasn’t serious, of course.

Our baby looks up with this bright, look what I can do face, and said, “Duct tape?”

This had the effect he wanted, everyone laughed and tolerated his “help” a little better.

For the next week, he answered everything with “duct tape”. Then he started using sentences. Overnight.

By the next spring, his vocabulary had grown, but sometimes his comprehension was a bit odd. We had cats, as we almost always do, and he had discovered their food and water bowls over the winter. For some reason, he became fascinated with putting the dry cat food in the water and watching it get plump and soggy. For this he was scolded, “No! It makes the cat food nasty.” His young mind decided to rearrange this statement.

For a while after this, every time he didn’t want to do something, he’d say,”No! It’s nasty called cat food!”

We took him to another, larger, camping event. Groups of tents became micro communities and we were set up with families, some of whom also had toddlers. This was great. We set up a play area and could watch them without their getting underfoot, or wandering away. They could play, make friends and ignore the adults, which I think toddlers live for.

Now, if you have ever done any group camping, you know how thin a tent wall is and how sounds carry. I woke up one morning to hear the mother in the tent next to us, preparing breakfast early. She seemed to be trying to coax her son to eat. The child’s words rang out as only a child’s words can do.

“No! It’s nasty! It’s cat food!”

I pulled the covers over my head and whispered to my husband, “Oh, my God, it’s spreading!”

I took pains not look at the other mother that morning, for fear she’d learn how her son came by this unusual statement about her cooking.

When it comes to the English language, it doesn’t matter what adults say. The toddler always wins. This is the core of a grandmothers revenge.